


A Time to Heal Time Stamp: One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

by Dawn_twilight



Series: A Time to Heal [5]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_twilight/pseuds/Dawn_twilight
Summary: Why had he been so stupid! It wasn’t like he had seeked Catherine out…if he had just come clean the first day she started…if he had just told Danny that the Governor had temporarily appointed her as Danny’s replacement…





	1. Chapter 1

H50H50H50

“Okay, Danny,” Dr. Moore said, “you can get dressed and I will be back in a few minutes.”

Danny, nodded, pulling himself up from the exam table and swinging his legs down, waiting until his urologist pulled the curtain across the door. He slid down and grabbed his underwear, pulling the paper gown off from his shoulders and tossing it into the trash bin near the table. 

He had just enough time to slide up his boxers and step into his shorts before he heard a soft knock at the door. He pulled his tee over his head, threading his arms into the sleeves and called, “come in.”

Julie, the nurse Danny saw for his check-in, opened the curtain and headed for the little desk that held a computer. “Have a seat when you’re done,” she told him. “Dr. Moore will be in a few and in the meantime, I am going to print out your scrips and instructions.”

Danny slid his feet into his flip flops and wondered why he hadn't even bothered to dress a little better on his second visit to see the urologist. Steve had told him this morning, before he had left for work, that if you gotta get naked anyway, might as well not put on too many clothes to begin with…of course, he thought that Steve was probably thinking of a slightly different scenario, one that involved them both getting naked and sweaty and damn, he needed to stop that line of thought before other parts of his body began to take an interest.

His cock already ached…and not in a fun way…he hurt.

Earlier Dr. Moore had shown him how to do the self-injection and instructed him on how it was preferable that he stand and move around while gently massaging the injection site to help spread the medicine throughout his organ and sure enough, ten minutes later Danny was so hard, he was sure he could hammer in some nails or something…Or, you know…hammer something a little more pleasurable, like Steve.

It was sorta a weird sensation though, because even though he had an erection, probably even a better erection since before he had been injured and needed surgery, he wasn’t feeling aroused, like at all.

He shook his head, and sank into the chair situated beside the small desk, waiting for Julie to finish typing in her notes and print out his paperwork.

He knew that it would be hard to be spontaneous if he had to use the medicine, but he was still hopeful that it would be a temporary situation. 

Before the doctor had gotten down to the business of showing how his meds worked and then injected him again with an antidote of sorts, so he wouldn’t have to walk around with a hard on for next however long it took for the medicine to wear off, she explained the findings of the monitoring test he had done over the last several nights and she seemed optimistic. 

She told him that since he had been able to achieve some natural erections while he slept, even though most weren’t in a range that would allow him to have sex, that his problem was most likely physical, neurological and that the steps that he where taking now would allow him to resume his sex life and hopefully even help with the physical underlying injuries to his nerves. 

Of course, she also asked him if he and his partner wanted a referral to see a sex therapist, so…obviously, she didn’t think his problem was all physical and he couldn’t deny those findings even if he wanted to.

He knew that being in a sexual relationship with Steve had dredged up old memories and feelings from his very dysfunctional and downright destructive sexual relationship with Richie.

But Steve sure as hell wasn’t Richie, so he took the offered card and knew that he and Steve needed to finish their aborted conversations about his past…he had no idea how, mind you, just that he needed to tell Steve everything and then they could decide together if he or they both should speak to someone about it. 

Julie hummed softly as she scooted the chair back from the desk and reached over to the printer to pull off the copies she had made him, stacking them against their edges against the desk. “So,” she began, handing Danny the papers, “The prescription has been sent electronically to your pharmacy so you can pick it up at your convenience and these,” she tapped the papers he was holding with her finger, “are some instructions and helpful hints on how to best use the meds. Don’t skip reading them, okay?”

“Okay,” he folded the papers and slipped them under his phone, that was still sitting on the desk. 

Dr. Moore stepped into the room and Julie stepped out, patting his arm as she passed him. “See you next time, Danny.”

“Bye, Julie.”

“Okay,” the doctor was all business as she sat in the chair and pulled up the nurse’s notes on the computer. “I see you go back to Dr. Hoy in several weeks…have you decided if you are going to do the ostomy reversal, if it’s an option?”

He opened his mouth to say yes, hell yes, the sooner he could get rid of his colostomy the better, but then he shut his mouth and really thought it through. 

Did he want to go through another major surgery? The first time the decision was out of his hands, but this time he would be electing to go under the knife and just thinking about the procedure itself and the extended recovery time, the pain, the possible bowel problems, more time away from work and the strain it could have on him physically and emotionally...Danny clearly remembered how teary eyed and weepy or moody and downright mean he was to anyone around him, but mostly to Steve, and what about…what if he does make progress with his current problem and then have to start all over after his next recovery…what if he wouldn’t be able to start over, what if…

“You know,” she said, leaning closer to him and squeezing his arm in comfort, “you don’t have to decide right now or even on the day of your appointment. Talk it over with Dr. Hoy, weigh the benefits with possible complications and speak with your partner, with your family.” She straightened up again and crossed her legs, telling him, “I’m just saying you have time, so don’t feel like you have to have all the answers now…in fact, the holidays are coming, why not see what your options are and then plan to make a decision after the New Year, that way you will be able to return to work for a while, get back into a more regular routine…lots of people go back to work, back to their previous life style with an ostomy and have no problem getting back to living normal lives.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “That sounds like a solid plan.”

“Okay, good.” She turned back to the computer screen, typing something into his electronic chart and said, “I want to see you back in three weeks or so. I see your scripts been sent to the pharmacy…if you decide at the end of the month you want to continue to use the injectable, I will send over a six-month refill and then you can just email me or call when you need refills. 

So, most side effects are mild, but be sure to read the insert and call me if any side effect lingers or is more severe, especially if your erection doesn’t go away within four hours.” She stood then, so he stood too, picking up his phone and printouts. “I’ll see you next month,” she put her palm gently on his shoulder as they walked toward the door. “See Emma to make your follow up appointment.”

“I will. Thank you.” 

It didn’t take long to make his next appointment for November fifteenth at eleven, which would be easy to remember, because it was the same day as his appointment with Dr. Hoy, only he was seeing Danny at nine. 

Shoving the clinic door open, Danny walked through the out crop of trees and bushes, thinking it was too damn hot to be seeing scare crows and bales of hay and pumpkins lining the walkway...he still had not gotten used to cold weather holidays or feeling very festive in the humidity and heat of Hawaii. 

Back in Jersey the trees would already be glorious shades or reds and oranges and the air would be crisp and clear and pumpkin everything would be available in every coffee shop, bakery and grocery store and he would be taking Grace to Miller’s farm to stuff their own scare crow and take a hay ride and pick out some good pumpkins for carving and pie and they would drink real hand pressed apple cider and eat fresh cider donuts and he would have on a warm sweater…

Of course, there was no reason why they couldn’t do most of those things this year. He could do some internet recon to see what passes as a pumpkin patch around here and take his baby girl to go pick some out…make some Jack-o’-lanterns and take her on some uninterrupted trick or treating and make some newer memories and hopefully be feeling festive in no time, plus Steve…Steve would want to do all those things with him and Grace too, which just made his mouth smile almost as big as his heart.

He somehow got to his car while thinking of making pie, which led to thinking about turkey and their annual football game, which led to thinking about Christmas shopping and mistletoe and tree lights and ornaments…his future, and maybe talking Steve into visiting with his family over Grace’s Christmas break, and slid in behind the wheel. 

The clock told him it was only twelve twenty, so he could drive over to the palace and see Steve, take him to lunch at Mamie's, tell him about his appointment and maybe talk to him a little bit about the therapist…because he wanted to be as truthful as possible…going forward, he didn’t want to hide anything from his partner, so he pulled out into the afternoon lunch traffic and headed toward work. 

He decided he should just surprise Steve and it would be nice to visit with Kono and Chin, who just started back to work today after the scare with Malia…hell, he might even sit at his desk and work on some emails and review some reports to see how creative Steve had been in explaining some of his actions in Danny's absence, if the team where away from the office and he found himself waiting.

Danny knew that they were still working on the murder of the developer, Steve had always filled him in, wanting to include him so that he wouldn’t miss work so much, and that they were getting nowhere fast. The killer had been extremely cautious and had not left any forensic evidence, which seemed almost impossible. Their only lead had been similar murders that had occurred in Florida, but since they only had one DB here, they couldn’t consider it serial yet. 

It only took him a little over fifteen minutes to make it to work, and he was pleasantly surprised by the greeting he had received from the guard at the door and a few other people he knew from the surrounding offices in the building. 

When he took the stairs up, a few ladies that worked in Social Services hugged him and patted his back in welcome, but when he opened the glass doors to 5-0’s office space it looked pretty empty. 

He could see neither Kono or Chin were in their offices and when he stopped at his own, he was a bit surprised to see stacks of files on his desk and Steve’s coffee mug sitting to one side of his computer.

He heard some muffled noises coming from Steve’s office and went to ask him what was going on, but when he pushed opened the door, he couldn’t stop his mouth from falling open at the sight of the woman sitting in Steve’s chair, behind Steve’s desk, her feet propped up on the desk blotter, talking into her phone as if she had moved in a long time ago, as if she had owned the place.

She spotted him and waved, dropping her feet and wrapping up her phone call to walk toward him, and before he knew what was happening she was pulling him into a warm hug, “Danny…” she squeezed him a little too hard, but he allowed his arms to come up to encircle her loosely. “I am so happy to see you…how are you feeling?”

When she pulled back, Danny had to work his mouth to get it moving. “I, I’m alright…how are you, Catherine?”

H50H50H50 

She was pleasantly surprised to see Danny come into Steve’s office. He hugged her when she hugged him and she could tell that he had lost some weight, that he had looked a little pale, but considering all that he had been through, he looked damned good. “I am doing fine…come on, sit down.” She led him over to the couch and sat with him. “Steve’s in a meeting, if you are looking for him. I heard you two are roommates for now, so I can call him if you need a ride home or something,”

She puzzled over the peculiar look that briefly flashed across his face before he shook his head and said, “no…I ah…I just thought I’d stop in to visit…I ah…” 

“Oh, well that’s great…I’m sure Chin and Kono would love to see you too…they should be back soon. They went to follow up on a lead,” but she stopped that train of thought because she didn’t think that Steve would have updated Danny on their current case, so why bother with the details.

He stood then, nodding his head, looking out toward the bull pen and his own office.

“Oh, you know, I told Steve I didn’t mind taking over your office, but he insisted I take his…I guess he didn’t…well, anyway…if it bothers you he is in there messing up your stuff, I have no problem switching…”

“No,” he assured, “it’s fine…it’s not like I’m back on duty yet.”

She had no idea if or when Danny might be coming back, but since she had only been on her temporary duties for less than a week, she hoped it wouldn’t be anytime too soon, even if that did make her sound like a horrible person. She loved Danny and wanted what was best for him and hurrying back into this crazy wonderful job probably wasn’t what was best.

“Do you have an idea of when the doctors will allow you to return?” she asked a beat later, seeing the same odd expression ghost over his face before he looked away.

“I ah…Could be a few more weeks, but even then…” he seemed to have a hard time swallowing, but went on, “it would only be desk duty, you know…for a while anyway.”

“Well I am sure everyone can’t wait for you to get back.” And she meant that. It would be good for things to go back to normal for the team, in fact, if Danny were here, they may even be farther along on this current case, but she didn’t want to get into the case with him, because it would be unfair to burden him with information he couldn’t help with, at least not in his current condition. 

She stood now too, wondering if she should give him another hug and send him on his way, so she was a little surprised when he turned to look at her and said, “how about we go grab lunch? I haven’t eaten yet and I know you probably haven’t either.”

She thought about it for a second or two but couldn’t think of a reason not to. She has hungry and who knew when she might get an opportunity to eat again today, although she was hoping to convince Steve to take her out for dinner and maybe some drinks this evening. She could maybe get a little recon from Danny, because she and Steve had had hardly any time to talk, to even try to reconnect, because every day Steve had had some excuse, which usually involved Danny, to beg off dinner and whatever might have happened after dinner. “Sure,” she finally answered. “Let me just grab my stuff.’

She watched him nod then head out to the bull pen. He stopped and looked in to his office again as she grabbed her phone and keys. 

She was just about to ask him where he would like to go eat when Chin and Kono came into the squad room and rushed at Danny. She stepped from the office and watched as they each hugged him tight, Kono kissing his cheek and Chin grabbing the back of Danny’s neck and squeezing. “What brings you by?” Chin asked at the same time Kono said, “How was your appointment?”

Danny told them he was just visiting and that everything was fine and she couldn’t help to wonder what fine meant?

“I brought in the leftover cake from Sunday, brah…it’s in the break room if you want some…”

“Malia was so happy to see that cake and boy, was it ever delicious,” Kono added. “I want red velvet for my birthday, what do you say?”

Catherine didn’t know what they were going on about, but she did have some of the carrot cake that Chin had brought in from his family gathering for his birthday.

“I think that can be arranged,” Danny told her, turning to see that she had made her way toward them. 

Chin and Kono cast her a strange look, but she cleared her throat and told them, “Danny has invited me to lunch, so will you let Steve know I won’t be long if he gets back before I do.”

Now the two gave each other a strange look, and then a meaningful one towards Danny, but she didn’t feel like deciphering whatever subliminal conversation they were having…the last fifteen minutes had been strange and awkward enough.

“Ready to go,” Danny’s voice, so near, startled her, but she nodded, gladly taking the arm he held out for her. Danny had always been such a gentleman and Steve sure could learn a thing or two from him. “I’ll drive,” he told her and she had no doubt that when they got to his car he would even open the door for her.

They walked arm in arm out of the unit and she caught sight of Kono and Chin scrambling for Kono’s office, Chin already had his phone out and to his ear as she and Danny turned the corner and headed down the stairs and sure enough, Danny opened the car door for her and waited until she had slid in and put on her seat belt before gently closing the door.

“Where too,” she asked him as he carefully slid behind the wheel, wincing a little as he adjusted himself in the seat and put on his own seat belt.

He started up the car, casting her a small, almost sad smile and said, “I know the perfect place…Steve and I…well, you’ll like it, I’m sure…you ready to go?”

She smiled back and nodded, hoping that Danny wasn’t overdoing it by spending the morning at the doctor’s and having lunch with her…she hoped that he was going to be okay and that he would take his time to recover.

“So, tell me about this place…what’s good?”

“Well, everything is homemade…they have the best noodle soup…”

She listened as he droned on, only paying half attention as Danny guided the Camaro through the thinning traffic, thinking that if Steve liked the place, she would make a point to invite him there herself…maybe if she found one of his favorite haunts, he would be more willing to have dinner with her and then they could see what happened from there. 

H50H50H50


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why had he been so stupid! It wasn’t like he had seeked Catherine out…if he had just come clean the first day she started…if he had just told Danny that the Governor had temporarily appointed her as Danny’s replacement…

H50H50H50

“Fuck,” Steve palmed his face and then pushed his hand roughly up and through his hair. 

Why had he been so stupid! It wasn’t like he had seeked Catherine out…if he had just come clean the first day she started…if he had just told Danny that the Governor had temporarily appointed her as Danny’s replacement…

He just…he just didn’t know how…he didn’t want to hurt Danny…

It was Cath…bad enough someone was appointed, worst that it was his on again, off again, friends with benefits, Cath…

“Fuck,” he jabbed his thumb against the key fob button to unlock the truck and got behind the wheel, turning the ignition over and jamming the gear into reverse.

“You said that already, brah…” Chin so hopefully supplied from the other end of the phone line. “Now go make it right.”

Make it right? Sure…he could do that…hopefully…

God, what if he…couldn’t…what if he screwed up the best thing…

“Look,” Kono chimed in, clearly the line was on speaker phone. “Just find him, explain your reasoning and beg, if you have too.” 

Kono, always the helpful one. At least neither one called him on his reasoning…

“I can do that,” he said, backing the truck up and pulling down the drive away from the Governor’s mansion…of all the freaking days to not be in the office.

“Good…what’s the plan?” Chin was back, ever the voice of reason, which was what he needed, he wiped his forearm across his sweaty brow, feeling his stomach knot, knowing that he was panicking.

He took a few deep breaths, strangely hearing Danny’s voice in his head telling him to just calm down.

Traffic had thinned since his drive over, so he headed towards down town and Kamekona’s shrimp truck, thinking that it was fast and easy and a place they usually headed when they ate lunch out. “Going to Kame’s and if they aren’t there, I’ll check a few other places…” 

Chin asked, “are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

Steve could hear the electronic sounds that the computer made when someone was inputting information and wondered if Chin was tracking Danny’s phone or maybe the GPS on the Camaro…and if so, the man was a genius.

He continued, “maybe it’s not a good idea to crash their lunch…I mean, Danny might not be too happy…”

Chin had a point. 

If Danny was pissed, or even worse, hurt by Steve not telling him about Cath, confronting him might not be the best plan, even if Steve would be doing so with his proverbial hat in hand and begging for forgiveness.

He was almost to the shrimp truck, so he did a slow drive by and asked, “did he seem…mad?”

Kono answered, saying, “more like upset, but doing a good job of covering…Catherine didn’t seem to notice, but she doesn’t know him as well as we do…maybe they will…”

Danny’s car wasn’t parked in their usual spot and Steve jumped a little as a horn sounded behind him. He stuck his hand out the window, impatiently signaling the car behind him to go around as he scanned the picnic tables, but didn’t see Danny or Cath.

“Right,” he pulled back out into traffic and headed the other way, toward their offices and the couple of places that they sometimes had lunch, the taco food truck that was usually out front of the federal building or maybe the little Cafe down the street from the palace…but what would he actual do if he did see Danny and Catherine? “Did you find him through his cell?”

Kono chuckled, probably knowing that he knew what Chin was up too, but it was Chin that answered, “nope…looks like his phone is off.”

“Fuck!” he slammed his palm into the steering wheel, doing a slow pass of the food truck, but not spotting them, he made an abrupt U-turn and headed back to the palace parking lot. “Maybe I should call Cath.”

“Think hard about that plan,” Kono said, “how would it look that you are calling Cath during their lunch?”

Now Kono had a point and either way, he was fucked.

“I can track the car,” Chin half heartily offered, “you can at least see where they are…”

“No,” he decided. “I’m already here…I think I will text him, ask him to let me explain and then he will at least see it when he turns his phone back on, sneaky son of a bitch…he knew that I would try to track him…I wouldn’t put it past him to have disabled the GPS in the Camaro.”

He came through the lobby and jogged up the steps to the office, Chin was just disconnecting their call when he came through the doors and a thought occurred to him, “did you try to locate her phone?”

Chin shook his head, “I have it inputted, but I didn’t know how far you wanted to take it, so…”

“Okay,” he walked up to the computer table, looking down at the program that could track Catherine, but took a step back. “I think, I think I should just let them have their lunch, I mean, who knows…maybe she will figure it out on her own, maybe Danny…”

Kono shot him a skeptical look, but nodded her head anyway, “maybe…but do you really think Danny will bring you and he up, say,” doing her best Danny impersonation, she continued, “‘listen, Cath, I know you and Steve had a thing, but he’s my man now, so get lost,’ or something like that?”

No, Steve didn’t even think that was a remote possibility and he could only pray that Catherine didn’t say anything stupid that would let Danny know that she had…intentions for Steve.

He wasn’t blind to her flirting and hints, he just rebuffed them as best as he could, hoping that she would get the hint, because he was with Danny now, he loved Danny, more than…well more than anyone or anything…

They were trying to keep their private life private…only a few very select and special people knew about them being together and frankly, Cath didn’t fit that category…Steve wasn’t kidding when he told everyone that she wasn’t his girlfriend and the thought of sharing something so private and special, so dear to him was a little too much for their relationship status.

He didn’t know why he thought he could get away with that rationalization. 

He should have just told her on her fist day that he was seeing someone else, that he was in a serious relationship and let her draw her own conclusions, instead of what…was he stringing her along?

That wasn’t his intentions.

But maybe that was the truth of what he was doing, trying not to hurt her and really trying not to hurt Danny and look where the hell that got him.

Another thought occurred to him at that moment and he smiled. “He has to drop her back off at some point, right?”

Chin frowned, but nodded, stretching out the word, “riiiiight. But what are you going to do…surveil the parking lot until you see them and then hope like hell Danny doesn’t pull away while you’re trying to get into the car?”

Steve smirked, thinking, something like that, but said, “Nah…I was thinking in about half an hour or so they should be done and then he will turn his phone back on…he wouldn’t leave it off too long, he might miss a call from Grace…so once he drops Cath off, I will see where he lands and then go talk to him.”

Kono patted his back, heading toward her office, saying, “he’s not the only one you need to talk to.”

And he knew that…he just didn’t want to tell Catherine about he and Danny and couldn’t quite explain why, to himself or Danny or any of his team. 

Maybe it was because Danny was…his and he was Danny’s. People could understand that, but could they really understand what that meant to him?

“I’ll talk to her,” he finally said, walking back toward his office. “I’ll let her know I’m not available and maybe she will give me some sort of hint as to what she and Danny talked about.” His stomach rumbled with hunger instead of dread and he thought maybe they should order lunch while he settled in to wait.

It wasn’t like he was going to get any work done anyway.

H50H50H50

Cath thanked the owner as she sat down a plate of homemade meatloaf in a tomato gravy and mashed potatoes in front of her and Danny accepted his bowl of noodles in a light chicken broth, just the way he liked them.

“Thanks Mamie,” he told her, happy that she hadn’t pushed for him to eat a sandwich or something more substantial when she came over to take their order, only inquiring where Steve was today and giving Cath a once over.

Cath perked up at the mention of Steve’s name then, but Danny had only said that he was at work still and introduced Catherine.

Danny had managed a smile in Cath’s direction when he noticed she was looking at him and said, “eat, eat…the meatloaf is almost as good as my mom’s,” then he took out his chopsticks, snagging some noodles and stuffed them into his mouth. 

His stomach was a little sour and he could tell his colostomy bag was filling up, but he would hopefully make it home to change it after he dropped Catherine back off at work. 

He hated doing it in public places and especially if the person with him knew what he was up too, except for maybe Steve…

Steve…

Danny didn’t want to think about him just yet and all the hurt feelings bubbling just under the surface.

He invited Cath out to lunch to get some information and judging by their conversation so far, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. She had explained that Steve was just as surprised as she was to be invited to join the task force, but she clearly was also needling for information about Steve.

He looked over to her as she cut tiny pieces off her meatloaf and forked then into her mouth, all lady like, unlike his current scoop and shovel method. He forced himself to slow down, because first, it wasn’t very nice and second, he didn’t want to make himself sick…well, more then he already was.

His stomach gurgled again, so he sat down his chop sticks and took a drink of his water, hoping the uneasy feeling would pass.

“So,” Catherine said, forking a bite of whipped potatoes. “Are you going to be able to come to the Hilton on Friday night?”

Danny had no idea what she was talking about and that must have shown on his face because she continued, “Kono invited everyone out for dinner and drinks…maybe a dip in the pool…” 

When he didn’t answer, she went on, “I think she had asked everyone a few weeks ago, for last Friday, but then there was the scare with Malia, so she put it on the back burner…I asked her about it again today and she said she would call and make reservations for this Friday…I’m sure she just hadn’t been able to call everyone yet and let them know.”

Danny nodded, picking up his chop sticks again and mumbled, “sure…that’s probably it.”

He did have his phone off, so he supposed that could be the case and he wasn’t an idiot, he saw the look Chin and Kono gave each other and then him and he saw them making a fast retreat to Kono’s office, presumably to let Steve know he had found out about the newest office development and the very last thing he wanted was for Steve to show up, so…

But it did sting that even Kono and Chin didn’t have the decency to tell him that Catherine was assigned as his replacement.

It was clear from what he had gotten from her so far, that Steve wasn’t in on the decision and so he felt a little better about that, but then why hadn’t he just told Danny?

He could clearly see that she had no idea that Steve and he were together and that she was holding out hope that she and Steve might be able to get back together, so did Steve feel the same way?

Had he changed his mind about Danny?

He was a lot…he could admit that to himself…he had a huge personality, he talked too much, ranted on and on about things…he was…broken, in more ways than one.

Maybe Steve just didn’t want him…

“Are you okay, Danny?’’ Catherine had finished most of her lunch and had pushed her plate away, giving him a concerned look as he pushed his noodles around his bowl and he realized that he hadn’t been paying her any attention throughout the meal…he had stopped talking, stopped making conversation for just a little too long and an awkward silence hung between them.

“Yeah, just…” he pushed his bowl away, even though he hadn’t eaten very much, his stomach still feeling queasy. “feeling a little…off.”

“Oh, well then let’s get out of here so you can go home and rest.” She picked up the check before he could grab it. He found it a little funny that Mamie never charged he or Steve but made a point of sitting the bill down in front of Catherine, which Danny had every intention of paying, but she said, “I got it.”

He let her go pay the bill, as he went back to the bathroom to look at his colostomy bag. It was a little over half full and the…consistency was off and he hoped like hell he wasn’t getting sick. “That would be just perfect,” he muttered, washing his hands and deciding to leave it until he got home. He didn’t want to have to make Catherine wait while he retrieved his spare bag from the glove box and change it out.

Mamie was waiting outside the bathroom door when he exited and he could see Catherine still at the register, making small talk with the waitress who was ringing out her check. 

Her motherly vibe was shining through as she handed him a huge Styrofoam cup of noodles in broth and an even bigger brown paper bag full of his favorite treats. 

He gave her an indulgent smile when she raised her hand and placed her palm to his forehead. 

She frowned and told him, “you feel warm to me…go home and take some meds, get in bed and rest.”

He let her pull him into a hug and fought the ridiculous tears that were forming around his tightly closed eyes, wishing his own mom was here, which was just stupid…he was too old to need his mommy, but he sank into Mamie’s embrace anyway, struggling to push down his feelings.

He hurt…Steve had hurt him, but he didn’t think Steve had meant too…despite the all doom and gloom thoughts that kept swirling around his brain.

“Thanks,” he finally pushed back, breaking the loose embrace, looking away to wipe at his nose and eyes. “I think I will try to get some rest…it’s been a really long day.”

She tucked him close to her side, resting her arm and hand along his back and shoulder, giving him another squeeze as she walked him toward the counter and Catherine, telling him, “Get some sleep and don’t overdo it and tell Steve I missed him…it’s always a treat when you two lovebirds grace me with your presence.”

Danny didn’t miss the queer look that passed over Catherine’s face before she shut down whatever she was feeling, probably compartmentalizing like Steve.

“Are you ready to go,” Cath asked, reaching forward to take the bag and cup from Danny’s hands. “You look a little flushed…let me drive.” 

He nodded, walking toward the exit, following her out and to his car, walking to the passenger seat, which wasn’t so out of the ordinary and slid in, waiting for Catherine to get in and start up the car. She handed him his leftovers and he said, “just drive us back to HQ and I can get myself home.”

She eyed him and then shook her head, taking the exit for the H1 that would take him home…or…Steve’s house. “I am going to drop you off, make sure you are settled and then take your car back with me…we can figure out how to get it back to you later.”

He didn’t feel like fighting the point, especially since his stomach did a little flip as she changed lanes and he was feeling a little hot, wondering if he was getting a fever.

He must have dozed off, because his eyes snapped open when the car came to a stop in Steve’s driveway. “Ah…” he groggily wiped at his eyes and took in a deep breath, looking around him to be sure they were really home. “Thanks…I can…” he pushed open the door, wincing a little as his skin pulled around his ostomy site, but managed to drag himself out and retrieve his food. “I can take it from here.”

He saw her frown, but didn’t really care. He could feel what had to be diarrhea oozing into his collection bag and knew that the bag was becoming overfull.

He rushed toward the front door, using his key to unlock it and hurriedly punched in the alarm passcode, running up the steps and slamming the bedroom door, practically diving for the bathroom and toilet and landed on it backwards, pulling up his tee and opening the bag clip to empty the contents in the toilet.

He felt a little flush, a little shaky, so he leaned forward and rested his head on his folded arms along the back of the toilet tank. 

He heard footsteps in the hall way and froze as Catherine’s soft voice reached his ears. “Danny, I ah…I put your soup in the fridge.”

He could tell by the volume of her voice that the bedroom door must not have caught when he slammed it and that she was standing in the open doorway, looking toward the shared bathroom doorway, in which he didn’t even try to close, face reddening as some of his shit plopped into the toilet.

“Ah…okay, thanks.” 

He could tell she was still standing there, thinking, ‘leave already’, and then realizing that she was probably wondering why Danny was in this bathroom and not the guest one down the hall, right next to the guest bedroom…was probably taking in the unmade and rumpled bed, which he never made, but Steve usually did if he had time before leaving for work. He wondered if he had left his underwear on the floor on his side of the bed, this morning, instead of tossing them into the hamper, because, yes, alright, sometimes he was a slob…and if the tube of lube was still sticking out from under Steve’s pillow and…oh, god…

“I ah…are you sure you’re alright…do you need help?”

He was close to letting loss with a nervous giggle, crinkling his nose at the horrible smell coming from below him, he flushed, even though he knew he wasn’t done yet. “I’m…I’m fine, really, but ah…thanks?”

He heard her pulling the door closed as she backed into the hallway, saying, “okay…feel better and I’ll see ya around,” and then the door clicked closed and Danny was blessedly alone.

He supposed that maybe she didn’t think anything of the state of Steve’s bedroom and perhaps she had thought that he just ran for the closest bathroom, but somehow, he doubted it.

He finally sat up and looked down to the toilet, frowning at what he saw, even though he had flushed most of it down. His stomach was still roiling, but he didn’t feel sick, per say…just not quite right…a little off.

It hurt a little when he pealed the sticky disk that held the used bag over his ostomy, the skin there a little more irritated then the last time he looked.

Backing away and standing from the toilet, he opened a new bag and sat it on the counter, sealing the old one up in the same plastic covering and tossed it into the trash. He looked at his stomach in the mirror that was attached to the back of the bathroom door, so he could get a better look then just glancing down at it and was a little surprised to see how irritated the skin on the underside of his stoma looked. 

He got a soft wash cloth from the linen closet and used his special soap to clean around the site, carefully patting it dry and letting it air out before he put on a new bag. If he could trust his bowels, he would leave the bag off for a while, but he knew he couldn’t do that now, not with having diarrhea. His movements would be to unpredictable and the last thing he wanted was to have to clean up that mess.

He found his antibiotic ointment prescription and rubbed just a thin layer over the raw skin, hoping that it was enough to stave off an infection.

Kicking out of his shorts and underwear, he reached under the sink cabinet and grabbed a pre-cut wafer and pulled off the paper to expose the sticky back, carefully laying it around the sensitive skin of his stoma. 

He waited a beat or two and then pulled the paper off the front and attached his clean bag. 

His shirt met the shorts on the ground, and he walked naked into the bedroom, wondering where he had tossed his phone. 

It wasn’t on the dresser or unmade bed, so he grabbed a clean tee and boxers, getting dressed as he made his way down the steps, spotting his phone on the coffee table.

He grabbed it up and turned it on, hoping that he hadn’t missed a call from Grace, thinking that he might call his mom when he saw he had a text message from Steve.

He wasn’t sure he even wanted to read it just yet…maybe he would call his mom first, but then he found himself sliding his thumb over the partial text, putting in his password so he could read the rest.

He flopped onto the couch and pulled the blanket off the back around his shoulders, shivering in the chill of the living room, reading the words on his phone.

_Sweetheart, I am so sorry that you found out about Catherine the way that you did. Please know that it was not my choice to have her as your very temporary replacement and that I am sorry for not telling you right away. I guess I just didn’t want to upset you, but that is what happened anyway. Can you please forgive me? I can explain this better when I see you later. I love you, Danno…more than anything, so please, please except my apology and I promise…going forward, I won’t ever keep anything from you again, even if I think that it might hurt you._

Danny reread the message and then sighed. He was still a little pissed…still a little hurt, but he could see where Steve was coming from. It had to be hard on him too, having someone take Danny’s place and then that someone to be who it turned out to be. 

He guessed that he should at least put Steve out of his misery and also give him a little heads up, so he wrote back. _Apology excepted…forgiveness pending…oh, and Cath followed me into the house because I had a bathroom emergency and she may have wondered why I was in your bathroom and she may have seen the state of the bedroom, because, you know…I didn’t make the bed and oh, yeah…Mamie may have outed us…we’ll talk when you get home and I love you too._

H50H50H50


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t know what woke him later that evening, only that when he glanced at the TV, a different movie was on and then that Danny wasn’t in the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay. A dear friend from the UK came to visit me for about a month and we kept ourselves entertained, but now I am behind. I have a few holiday stories I want to add to this universe, so there will be many updates over the next few day. Thanks so much to all who are reading along and commenting and giving kudos. Those things make me want to write more, so I really do appreciate them.

H50H50H50

Danny woke with a start, looking bleary eyed around the living room, wondering what time it was.

The blinds over the window were drawn, casting everything in the room in shadow, but he saw a low light creeping in around the edges and thought that it must be early evening.

He felt around the couch cushions for his phone, shifting to sit up, feeling a slow rolling wave of nausea burn through his belly and up his throat. 

He stood quickly, one hand pressed firmly over his mouth, the other over his belly, ignoring the ringing in his ears and ran for the downstairs powder room, before dropping to his knees in front of the toilet, but nothing came up as he breathed through the sick feeling.

He grabbed one of the decorative wash clothes from the towel bar, kneeling forward and up to turn on the tap and ran it under the cold water, wringing it the best he could and dropping back down, sitting his ass on the floor in front of the commode, resting his sweaty brow on his arm that lay across the toilet seat.

Shivers racked his body, but he pressed the damp cloth over his forehead anyway and then shifted it around to rest on the back of his neck, hoping the compress would help with the nausea. 

Sometime later, somewhere in the distance his phone rang, but he didn’t try to move, even though his ass was going numb and the cloth on his neck had long ago warmed and now just felt clammy and heavy.

He hadn’t turned on the light when he had rushed in earlier, so the room was much darker now, but at least his stomach wasn’t as bad as it had been, the nausea receding, letting him shift up to his knees, the cloth dropping off him and hitting the floor somewhere behind him.

He stayed on his knees in front of the toilet, even though they protested, until he was sure he wasn’t going to puke, at least not at that moment.

Satisfied that it was safe to stand, he pushed off the toilet onto wobbly legs, but managed to turn and sit, letting his head hang and pant through some uneven breaths.

He spotted the wash cloth, but just kicked it to the corner, not wanting to bend down to retrieve it.

His phone rang again and he thought that maybe he should get up and get it. 

It could be Grace or Steve.

Deciding that he had spent enough time in the bathroom, he used the sink as leverage and stood back up, feeling a little stronger.

He used the wall for support as he shifted into the hallway, turning on the hall light, clicking it off when he got to the end and entered the kitchen, turning on those lights and seeing the clock.

It was just a little after five, not as late as he had thought, but he did manage to take a few hour nap on the couch, which he guessed he needed after such a busy day.

“You’re pathetic,’ he murmured, as he shuffled toward the fridge and took out a bottle of water and carefully sipped. “A few hours out of the house and you’re as weak as a new born baby.”

How was he ever going to be able to get back to working if a trip to the doctor and a lunch out made him feel so weak?

He was debating on eating some more soup, his belly rumbling in hunger instead of nausea when he heard his phone ringing from the other room again.

Not wanting to make too many trips, he grabbed his left-over noodles and dumped them into a small pot he pulled from the cabinet, setting the burner to low. 

The brown bag of goodies sat on the counter and he opened it, pulling out a little sugar coated donut and nibbled it while he pulled down a bowl and grabbed a spoon from the drawer.

He stirred his dinner, waiting for the pot to heat when he heard his phone one more time.

Sighing, he carefully walked toward the living room, taking in the forgotten rumpled blanket he had pushed aside in his hurry to make it to the bathroom.

His phone had stopped ringing, but he felt around the blanket and stuck his hands down into the cushions until he found it.

He had thought that maybe Steve was calling him, but it had been his mother who had called…six times! He couldn’t help the small smile, wondering if his ma somehow knew, like most mom’s do, that he wasn’t feeling so great and had been thinking about her earlier today.

He went back to the kitchen, clutching his phone, finding his soup simmering on the stove top. He dumped it into his bowl and carried it to the table, before changing his mind and grabbing up his spoon and napkin, snagging another water bottle from the fridge and making his way back to the couch and the warm blanket that awaited.

He got situated, wrapping himself in the throw, balancing his soup on a knee and turning on the TV, finding the nightly news, he turned the volume down and dialed his mother.

She picked up on the first ring, sounding a little winded and he wondered for the first time if something was wrong.

“Mom?” Sometimes, he could be a real idiot, it was going on midnight in Jersey and she wouldn’t have called this late unless something was the matter, “what’s wrong?”

_“Sweetie,”_ her voice went from worried to cheerful in a heartbeat, but Danny still didn’t know if that was good or not. After a beat or two she went on, _“nothing is wrong…I was just thinking about you and so I tried to call and when you didn’t answer…well, I called Steve.”_

“Oh,” he wasn’t sure what to make of her comment. He must have been sleeping when she had called the first few times and hadn’t heard his phone down in the cushions, or maybe that was what had woken him up. And then she had called Steve? What had Steve told her? “I’m…I’m sorry to worry you, ma…I took a nap and didn’t hear the phone ring.”

_“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry…”_

“No…I’ve been up for a bit…I was just heating up some soup in the kitchen and the phone was in the other room.”

_“Okay.”_

But from the pause he could tell she wanted to say more and he was curious what Steve may had said to his mother when she couldn’t get ahold of him, so he asked, “did ah…what did Steve have to say to you?”

With his perceived permission to talk about his relationship, she sighed and said, _“just that he is very worried that he screwed things up, that he was sorry for hurting you, even though he was trying very hard to never do that to you…do you want to talk about it?”_

Usually when his mom asked that question, it really wasn’t a question and more like a suggestion to spill, but he could tell by her tone that she really meant it, that she wasn’t demanding to know what had happened.

“I know he didn’t, really…” he began, but he didn’t know what else to say. Even thinking about it now, hurt. 

He looked around the living room, the soft glow of the TV bathing the furniture in an eerie light, since he hadn’t bothered to turn on the lamps before he settled on the couch.

He was sitting on Steve’s couch, in Steve’s living room, in Steve’s home and he felt a little panicked, knowing that if things went wrong, he didn’t even have a place to go to, a home of his own, if that made any sense, since Steve had assured him that his home was Danny’s home too. “It’s just…”

And he really didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling, to his mom or even himself.

_“Listen, sweetie, every couple goes through bumps in the road…I know you know this and that sometimes, you go to the worst case…”_

He laughed at that, knowing his mom knew him better than that.

_“Okay,”_ she conceded, _“Maybe, every time, but Steve loves you and you love him and I can tell, okay…this is not like what you felt for Rachel…this is deeper and purer and just…right, okay? I feel like maybe me and pop did you a disservice after what happened with Ritchie…”_

Her voice cracked and the last thing Danny wanted was to make his mother cry, knowing that it would set him off too, so he simply said, “Ma,” hoping she would know that she didn’t need to say more.

_“No, Danny…this needs to be said,”_ he could hear the faint sound of her blowing her nose, probably having pulled the cell away from her and when she came back on the line, she finished with, _“me and dad…we didn’t handle things right back then and I wondered,”_ she was softly crying now and Danny could feel tears press at his own eyes, _“I wondered if maybe we didn’t direct you down the right path…I wondered if maybe you only dating girls after Ritchie and finding Rachel was because you thought that that was what we wanted and not what you wanted…don’t get me wrong, I know you loved Rachel and I have a sweet grandbaby because of your union, but I can see what you have with Steve is different, it’s…more real.”_

He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him and cleared his throat, “I…” he knew his parents did the best they could under the crappy circumstances and that they shouldn’t feel any guilt over his life decisions. “You and dad did what was right…you got me away from Ritchie and that…that probably saved my life, ma…You and dad…I don’t want you to question that, okay…after it happened, after everything, you and pop stood by me, took care of me, got me help and that’s all that matters, so please, please don’t worry about the past…I’m…I’m just trying to focus on the future and I promise, I will talk to Steve and we will work things out.” Danny heard the front door quietly click shut and turned to see Steve standing there, his hand still on the handle. “Um, Steve just got home, ma and I know it’s late there…can I call you tomorrow…I was hoping to make some plans for Christmas break.”

_“Of course,”_ she sounded so much better to Danny, the heaviness, the sadness in her voice gone with the prospect of an upcoming visit and he really did want to talk to Steve about going to Jersey over the Christmas holiday. _“That would be wonderful…I love you, sweetie…give Steve a kiss for me, okay?”_

He eyed Steve again and nodded, saying, “you know I will…talk to you soon.”

He dropped his cell to the couch again, watching as Steve climbed over his raised legs, that were resting on the coffee table and taking the cooling soup from his hand, putting it on the table too.

Steve dropped onto the cushion next to him, immediately wrapping an arm around Danny and tucking him close to his side, “I am so sorry,” he started, but nothing more was forthcoming, so Danny nodded against Steve’s shoulder.

“I know, babe…I…it hurt that you didn’t just tell me about Cath, but I really do understand that you were just trying to spare my feelings.”

Steve hugged him closer, shifting his body so that Danny was pressed to his chest. “I swear, as soon as I see her, I will tell her about us, or…”

“Why didn’t you,” Danny needed to know the answer, but he could tell by Steve’s stiffening posture that he might not get it.

“I just…I was in shock when the governor assigned Catherine and I thought, what would you think, how would you feel and it’s not like we’ve told a lot of people and I guess I…”

Steve shifted again, leaning back on the couch and pulling Danny with him and he felt warm and safe wrapped in Steve’s arms and he knew Steve wasn’t good with the mussy, feely stuff, so he let him off the hook and leaned forward, saying, “okay,” and kissed him, loving the feel of the strong arms tightening around him, of the deepening kiss and the…love that radiated from Steve. “You don’t have to tell her who, but after today, I am pretty sure she got a clue.”

Steve chuckled, sending a warm rumble through Danny’s chest and he couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spine. Steve ran his hand along the same path, asking, “are you feeling okay? You said you had a bathroom emergency,” he reached toward Danny, resting the back of his hand against Danny’s forehead, much in the same way as Mamie had done earlier in the afternoon. “And you feel a little warm to me.”

“I think so.” Danny shifted a bit, settling deeper into Steve’s embrace. “I guess I over did it a little…maybe?”

Truth was he was still tired and a little cold, but Steve was warming him up nicely. Hopefully he wasn’t coming down with something. That was the last thing he needed.

H50H50H50

Steve wasn’t sure he if they needed to continue talking about Catherine, because Danny had said he understood and judging by the way the man he loved was fitted so tightly against him, he assumed that they were okay, for now.

Danny hadn’t asked why he hadn’t talked to Catherine yet, but Steve had been ready with the response, because there had been another body found, matching the same MO and the call had come in as Catherine was on her way back to the Palace.

Steve hadn’t known what to think of her pulling up in Danny’s car, but he kept the scene professional and once they had done a walk through with the uniformed officers and he had been assured that they were canvassing the neighborhood and that Max had been on his way back to his lab with the DB, there really wasn’t much for the team to do, so they had all headed back to the office, Cath and Kono working around the tech table, trying to find connections between the newest victim and the previous one. 

Chin had headed for his office to follow up on a few phone calls, so Steve headed to Danny’s, working on finishing some reports to be sent over for final approval. 

He hadn’t been paying too much attention to the time, but was pleasantly surprised to see that the incoming call on his phone had been from Melanie and then just before answering, had worried that maybe Danny had called her and she had something she wanted to say to him.

She hadn’t spoken to Danny, in fact, she had been trying for the past several hours to get ahold of her son, which only worried Steve a little, since he had known Danny’s whereabouts, first the doctor’s office and then lunch and then he had been dropped home with no car, which he had explained to her, saying that maybe Danny was just napping.

She had asked him what was wrong after that and if he had wanted to talk about it and for some reason, he had felt compelled to spill the beans, but after the explanation, he had only heard compassion in her reassuring voice.

He had no reference for her tone, since his own mother would had never spoken so kindly and reassuring to him, if he had messed something up…if she would even be available to speak to him at all and the fact had been, she wouldn’t be available to Steve, she had been off to God knows where doing God knows what for her government, which she had obviously put above he and Mary and his dad.

Once he had hung up with Danny’s mom, he had seen that Kono had moved to her office and Catherine to his. 

He would have to ask Danny what he preferred now and to let him know that Catherine would be relegated to the small desk, that Jenna had once used, when Danny came back to work on desk duty.

He had checked his inbox one more time, figuring that Max wouldn’t even begin his examination until tomorrow and that there wouldn’t be much that they could have done on the case for the rest of the evening, so he had decided to send everyone home a little early.

Chin and Kono had rode in together to work, as they often did and his and Danny’s place wasn’t out of the way, so it hadn’t been an inconvenience to ask that one of them drive the Camaro home and that the other follow.

He had only caught the tail end of Danny’s conversation with his mother, had seen his lover sniffle and rub at his eyes, as he had promised to call her back the next day, to make some holiday plans, which sounded like a great idea to him, so he asked Danny, still snuggled in his tight embrace, “So…Jersey for Christmas?”

Danny stiffened a little in his arms, but soon relaxed again, nodding his head, “yeah…I mean…if you want…”

“Of course, I want!” Steve kissed the top of Danny’s head, pushing him back some so he could see Danny’s face. “I can hardly wait to meet your sisters and listen to all kinds of stories.” 

He was hoping to get a rise out of Danny, but he only nodded again, a ghost of a smile on his lips and then he said, “their stories aren’t as…entertaining as Matt’s, but I am sure you will find them equally hilarious.”

Steve kissed his head again and each closed eye before planting one on Danny’s upturned lips, not wanting to broach the subject of his absent brother and another Christmas without him.

Changing the subject, he asked, “do you want me to heat up your soup or can I make you something else…don’t think I haven’t notice you haven’t been eating very much over the last few days.”

Danny straightened, grabbing the remote to turn up the volume on the nightly news, where a reported stood in front of the Palace, talking about the newest victim in what might be a serial case and Steve felt like kicking himself. “I was going to tell you, I swear, Danny…”

Danny untangled himself from Steve, pushing up a little higher on the couch and said, “It’s okay, babe. I know you would have gotten around to it eventually…want to catch me up?”

Steve was half way through his report when he realized Danny had, in effect, checked the subject of his recent eating habits, but decided to let it slide…for now.

When he was finished updating Danny, which didn’t take long, since they still didn’t have any viable leads or any forensic evidence, he stood, grabbing Danny’s soup and walking to the kitchen to stick it in the microwave, which he knew Danny didn’t like, but it was the fastest way to get something into Danny’s belly and considering that the container Danny had brought his leftovers home in was still half full, he doubted that Danny had eaten much for lunch either. 

He heard Danny’s shuffling feet as he made his way into the kitchen and the slide of the chair as Danny slumped into it, which made him think of their recent love making in the kitchen, which reminded him of Danny’s earlier doctor visit, and so he asked, “how was your appointment this morning?”

He turned with the soup, pulling another spoon from the drawer and sat them down in front of Danny. He hooked the other chair with his foot and sat too, waiting for Danny’s reply, worrying a little about the paler of Danny’s skin and the little beads of sweat forming along his hairline, but after picking up his bowl and sipping on the broth, Danny said, “It went fine. She said that the monitoring tests showed that I was getting spontaneous erections while I slept, so…She wants to see me again in three weeks. I made the appointment the same day as Dr. Hoy. She ah, she sent my prescription to the pharmacy, so I can pick it up tomorrow…”

He knew that Danny was still a little embarrassed about the use of the injectable, but Steve was just so damn grateful that he would even consider it, that he reached across the table and gave Danny’s free hand an encouraging squeeze and said, “that’s great sweetheart. What else did she say?”

“Just ah, just that the injections could help with the nerve damage and that we ah…she gave me a card to see, you know…if you wanted to…” he watched a sweep of crimson consume Danny’s chest, creepy toward his face and gave the hand he was holding another squeeze. 

“I think it might be a good idea…” Steve didn’t know how to finish his sentence so he went with, “for the both of us, don’t you…I mean I know you have some stuff to work through and I really want to help you, so…”

Danny pushed his bowl back, only having eaten a few of the noodles, but he nodded, looking up to Steve, eyes full of some emotion that Steve wasn’t sure he had seen in Danny before.

“That’s…yeah, that sounds good.”

Steve’s own belly rumbled, the pizza he managed to nibble on while he worried about Danny over lunch long gone. 

Ever helpful, Danny pushed his bowl over and asked, “Do you want my soup…I think I’m going to shower and go to bed.”

Steve glanced toward the clock, noting that it was only a little before six, but if Danny was tired and not feeling well, he would be willing to call it an early night and snuggle with Danny in their bed.

“Let me clean up the kitchen and lock up and then I will join you.”

He caught the goofy grin on Danny’s face and then the small frown as he stood, hanging onto the chair back for support. 

Steve stood too, reaching out to take Danny by the elbow to steady him. He reached forward again, pressing his palm to Danny’s clammy forehead and then down along his cheek, but he couldn’t detect a fever, at least a high one. Steve would check once he got Danny settled into bed, but he wasn’t about to let him shower alone if he wasn’t steady on his feet, so he guided him back to the chair, saying, “how about you rest here while I clean up and then I’ll help you in the shower, okay?”

Danny nodded, like he couldn’t trust himself to speak and Steve wondered if he should be rushing Danny to the power room, not liking the slightly queasy look on Danny’s face, but before he could suggest it, Danny stumbled up and forward, lurching for the hall and down it to the bathroom.

Steve followed along, hands out in case Danny tripped over his own sluggish feet, but he had made it to the toilet and was now just sorta leaning over it, bracing his hands on the seat.

Steve spotted the discarded decorative wash cloth and picked it up, noting it was still slightly damp, but he didn’t comment about it as he turned the tap to cold and ran the washcloth under the flowing water, saturating the material and wringing it out, folding it and putting it on the back of Danny’s neck. “Okay,” he asked, because Danny hadn’t moved an inch.

His lover’s eyes where tightly closed and he breathed deep in through his nose and gently out through his slightly parted lips.

After a few seconds, Danny nodded, straightening back up, leaning slightly on the sink. “On second thought,” he said, finally opening his eyes and looking at Steve’s refection in the mirror, “maybe I will skip the shower and go right to bed.”

Steve didn’t know what to do to help, but he nodded, moving to Danny and turning on the tap again, taking the cloth and dousing it in slightly warmer water, wringing it and running it over Danny’s face and neck, wiping away the gathering sweat. “I’ll help you up the stairs and then we will see how it goes…do you want me to call Dr. Hoy?”

Danny let Steve wrap an arm around his side and guide him back down the hall and toward the living room and the steps up to their bedroom, but he shook his head. “I’m okay,” he said, taking the steps slowly, leaning heavily on Steve, “I feel a little better all ready.”

Steve didn’t fully believe him, but since Danny hadn’t puked, he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

They reached the landing and Steve guided Danny into the bedroom and helped him sit on the bed. His lover was already dressed for sleep, so he pulled the covers down and helped Danny slide under, tucking the blanket up around his neck when Danny started to shiver. “I am willing to humor you right now, since you didn’t actually get sick, but if this continues I’m calling the doctor, okay?”

Danny looked like he was going to protest, in fact, Steve thought he saw a little fear flash through his eyes before he closed them and nodded at Steve and said, “Okay, but I’m fine, really…just a little tired, is all.”

“Hmm…” Steve went to their bathroom and found the basin Danny had brought home with him from the hospital. He filled it with warm water and some liquid soap and pulled a soft washcloth and towel from the linen closet, thinking that Danny would sleep better if he gave him a quick wipe down.

When he got back to the room, Danny was still shivering under the covers, his eyes focused and fixed on the ceiling. “Hey, sweetheart, how about we get you cleaned up?”

Danny looked his way, starting to throw back the covers until he saw what Steve held in his hands and said, “you don’t have too…I can make it to the shower.”

Steve doubted that very much, but he said, “I know you can…but let me do this, okay?”

When Danny nodded his head, Steve sat the basin down on the bedside table and sunk the cloth in, moving to pull the sheet off Danny’s chest and his tee over his head. He wrung out the cloth and used it to wipe both down and under Danny’s arms and across his chest, down his belly until he reached the soft material pouch that enclosed his colostomy bag.

He quickly followed the cloth with the fresh towel and then said, “roll to your side, baby.”

Danny shifted, rolling away from him, so Steve could wash down his back, stopping at the edge of his boxers, using the towel to dry what he just washed.

When he was finished that, he grabbed Danny’s shoulder, guiding him to his back, helping him thread his arms into his tee shirt and over his head, covering him back up with the sheet and warm blanket.

He moved to Danny’s feet, but Danny pulled his legs up saying, “that’s good enough.” But Steve wasn’t satisfied, so he put his hand on one of Danny’s knees, waiting until Danny rolled his eyes and straightened his legs again. “Okay,” he said, “but no funny business…I really am wiped.”

“No funny business,” Steve repeated, pushing the bedding up to Danny’s waist and started washing his feet, well mostly washing…there may have been some tickling that made Danny let out an unmanly squeal. “Sorry,” he said, even though he really wasn’t sorry. 

Danny threw his arm up and over his eyes, not even acknowledging his apology, but grunted in what he hoped was gratitude when after washing both legs, he dug his fingers in deep to massage Danny’s calves and then his strong thighs.

He really did want Danny to rest, so he swiftly pulled his boxers down and gave his lovely cock and balls a gentle wipe and then dried him quickly, righting his underwear before releasing the Velcro on the pouch around Danny’s waist. He washed everywhere the enclosure touched, noting that Danny’s bag was empty and wondered if that were a good thing or a bad thing.

He was about to ask, but when he looked up to his lover, Danny’s eyes were closed and his mouth was open in gentle breathing and he didn’t want to disturb his light sleep, so he pulled the belt back around him, thinking that when Danny woke up he would ask.

He rearranged the blankets over Danny’s lower half and went to dump the basin, bending to put it under the cabinet, but thought better of it and brought it back out to the bedside table.

That way if Danny got sick, he wouldn’t have to worry about making it to the bathroom.

Steve hurried back down the steps and went to the kitchen to make himself a quick ham and cheese sandwich and eat it over the sink, downing a bottle of water and grabbing another one for Danny.

Back in their bedroom, he saw that Danny had shifted to his side, and was breathing deeply in sleep.

He still looked a little pale and he didn’t seem to be shivering anymore, but Steve had forgotten about taking his temperature. 

He went back to the bathroom and found a bottle of Tylenol, the thermometer and a heating pad, wanting to he prepared if Danny woke up feeling sick again during the night.

He sat his supplies down on Danny’s bedside table and put the bottle of water within Danny’s reach, before pulling the bathroom door mostly closed, a muted glow escaped around the door frame, providing enough light in case Danny needed it.

Satisfied that he had done all he could, he programed his alarm for six in the morning and turned on the TV, muting the sound, he found an old western on and settled into his side of the bed, smiling when Danny moved instinctively toward him. 

Steve turned too, more interested in watching Danny’s peaceful face then the old movie, but he wasn’t tired yet, so he figured he would leave the TV on for a bit and if he happened to drift off to sleep, that would be okay.

He didn’t know what woke him later that evening, only that when he glanced at the TV, a different movie was on and then that Danny wasn’t in the bed.

He shifted up, feeling the spot beside him, but it was still warm, so he slipped out of the covers and walked toward the bathroom door and that’s when he heard it.

Danny was moaning on the other side of the door.

H50H50H50


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I promise I am not leaving, baby…I’ll be right here when you wake up, okay?”

H50H50H50

Danny could hear Steve shifting on their mattress and then padding feet as Steve slipped from the covers and walked briskly toward the bathroom door, calling his name. A second later he added, “are you okay in there, babe?”

He wanted to answer, but wave after wave of nausea roiled through his stomach and up his throat and even though he had been feeling that way most of the day, this time he didn’t think he could hold it back.

Just as Steve reached the partially opened door, Danny kicked it closed with his foot, praying that the latch would catch and that the door would remain closed, hoping that Steve would take the hint and not barge in on him anyway, because some things just weren’t meant to be shared.

In the next instance, he shifted forward, knowing that he was still making little needy noises, trying his best to keep his stomach contents where they belonged, but this time it was a losing battle.

He lurched over the toilet, hanging onto the seat and puked everything he had eaten that day and maybe even the day before. He didn’t want to look, not really, but it was hard not to notice that some of his food was still undigested. 

Even though it was still coming up, he flushed the toilet anyway, feeling sicker by just having to look at the fully formed fluffy noodles and pieces of malasadas.

It seemed to him that it went on and on, but probably only a few minutes had past and now he was left with just spitting out anything fowl in his mouth and pulling toilet tissue off the roll to mop up the copious amounts of saliva that dribbled down his chin.

He blew his nose and tossed the whole wad in to the bowl, finally, sinking down off bent knees and landed on his ass, remembering at the last minute to reach forward and flush again.

He wished he could say that he felt better, but unlike any other time he had vomited, his belly still ached and he felt like he was sitting in a furnace or maybe the surface of the sun. He was so hot he could feel sweat slid down his neck and back and his mouth was so dry, but he dared not drink anything.

“Are you okay, do you need anything, sweetheart?”

He jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice, having forgotten that his boyfriend was still on the other side of the closed door and from the sound of it, Steve had sunk down and sat against the door while he waited for Danny to finish.

He wanted to claim that he was fine, but as he opened his mouth, another round of sick slid up his throat and he hung his head over the toilet, letting out what wanted out.

This time when Steve spoke, he was in the bathroom with him, but Danny couldn’t bring himself to really care.

A cool and wet cloth wiped over his forehead, over his face and then Steve folded it and placed it on the back of his neck, giving Danny’s trembling shoulder a little squeeze. “I think we need to call the doctor.”

Danny was too weak to look up, to see the concern he knew would be on Steve’s face, but he managed to shake his head. “It’s just…” he needed to spit again before he could continue, “a virus or something.”

He pushed away from the commode, because he felt like he needed to get up and back into the bed, to show Steve that he was fine so that he could just huddle under the covers until this thing, whatever it was, passed.

He got to his feet, but quickly shut the lid and sat on the toilet, expending any energy he may have had, knowing that he was shaking and that his teeth were chattering, and now feeling inexplicably cold.

Steve touched his face, running a soothing hand around to grip the back of his neck and asked, “Ready to get back into bed, babe?”

He hung his head, too spent to even answer, but Steve reached forward anyway, getting a hold of him under each arm and pulled him up to his feet, encircling him within a soft embrace, letting him rest his head against Steve’s chest.

The small room did a slow spin and Danny had to slam his eyes shut, trying hard to breathe through the next round of nausea, trying hard not to be sick again, hanging onto Steve’s forearms to steady himself.

Somehow, Steve had managed to get him perched on his side of the bed, confused, not knowing how he had made the ten-step journey from the bathroom. 

The cloth was removed from his neck as Steve picked up his legs and swung them up, so that he was lying flat on his back, his pillow firmly under his head and the blanket drawn up to his quivering chin. 

“I’ll be right back, Danno…are you going to be okay?”

He nodded, knowing that he couldn’t really speak through chattering teeth.

Steve bent to pick up the basin that Danny had knocked to the ground on his dash to the bathroom and placed it on the bedside table. “Just in case,” he said, before heading out of the bedroom and down the steps.

He was back within minutes, holding a bottle of blue Gatorade in one hand and a straw in the other. 

Steve opened the bottle and stuck in the straw, pressing it to Danny’s lips, but he turned his face away, knowing that he couldn’t drink, the urge to puke again too strong. 

“Okay,” Steve said, nodding his head and seemingly coming to some decision, sitting the drink on the bedside table within his reach, not that Danny cared. 

He was too busy trying not to shake, because it made him feel sicker and then he felt something blessedly warm press against his stomach, calming the ache, at least for now.

Steve shifted his blanket back up, pressing his hand to Danny’s forehead, saying, “the water bottle should help and I want you to take some Tylenol.”

Danny nodded, watching bleary eyed as Steve moved back to the bathroom and then pulled the door mostly closed behind him on his way out. He had something in his hand when he returned, but he went to the linen closet in the hall and brought back a towel, spreading it out on the floor on Danny’s side of the bed and placing the basin down on top of it. “If you feel sick again, just roll over, babe. Don’t try to get out of bed on your own.” And then he was coaxing Danny’s mouth opened, sticking a thermometer under his tongue, looking at him with such compassion that Danny could feel tears pressing at his eyes. 

The thing beeped and Steve pulled it out, looking at the display and then opening a little alcohol wipe to clean off the part that was in Danny’s mouth. “It’s only 99.5,” Steve seemed relieved, so Danny relaxed, letting his eyes drift shut.

The bed dipped next to him and he could feel Steve pulling and arranging the top sheet and blankets around them both. “Let’s get some more rest,” he said, yawning while he spoke. “If you don’t feel any better by morning we will call your doctor’s office and see if they want to see you.”

Danny was a little surprised that Steve hadn’t tried to ply him with pills and make him drink, but he was glad that he had not. The swirling nausea slowly abated, and his stomach muscled started to unclenched and he could feel himself relax against the warmth of the hot water bottle Steve had wrapped in a towel and placed against his achy belly.

“Get some sleep, Danno.” Steve rolled toward him, but didn’t snuggle him or breathe on him or do anything else to upset the little comfortable spot Danny had carved out for himself, perhaps sensing that he would upset some cosmic balance that would set Danny to heaving again. “I’m here if you need me.”

He smiled at Steve’s words, because Steve was always there for him, no matter what. 

He closed his eyes against the soft glow of the muted TV, just like Steve had told him and for a while, he rested, floating on a river of warmth, but then, sometime later, something niggled within his belly. The nausea was still there, floating faster to the surface, but beyond that, a small discomfort…not pain, not really, but still…something was off, didn’t seem right.

He blew out a slow and steadying breath, trying to find that spot of comfort again, drawing his legs up, his knees bent and his feet planted firmly on the bed. 

Even with his eyes closed, still trying to sink back under the flow of dream and deep sleep, he felt his own hand more toward his stomach, felt himself rub a little circular patch around his navel, fingers bumping occasionally against his collection bag…his flat collection bag.

He frowned in his sleep, or at least he thought he did. 

That couldn’t be right…he had changed his whole bag earlier that day and even though he hadn’t eaten much and even though he had been sick, he still should have something in his bag…even if only gas.

That little niggling in his belly made itself know once again, but this time it was a little more defined, a little sharper and his feet slid restlessly along the bedding, his hand over his stomach pressing down a little more firmly and then he could hear Steve’s voice, could feel Steve’s hands on him, touching his face and neck, pulling down his blanket and resting his hand over Danny’s.

He managed to open his eyes, managed to roll to his side, away from Steve, knowing that he was going to be sick again. 

The cooling water bottle thudded to the floor as Danny shifted, trying to make sure he hit the bucket. When the heaving started again, the pain in his belly blossomed to a piercing heat and he may have cried out.

His eyes were clenched and he could hear Steve’s heavy footfalls as he rounded the bed and squatted by his side, holding his shoulders so he wouldn’t take a header off the bed. 

He didn’t think he threw up as long or as much, this time around, but he couldn’t really think on that too much, because he had a bigger problem now. That little niggle that blossomed into a terrible heat was now stabbing him in the stomach, impaling him, taking his breath and speech and reasoning away.

He could hear Steve’s frantic voice, could tell he was doing what he did best, taking control of the situation, but Danny had to stop him…he didn’t need to go to the hospital!

In fact, just the thought of being back there, admitted to a cold and sterile room, away from his family and friends, made the receding nausea surge again and he found himself leaning over the basin, shaking his head frantically, getting out the words, “no hos…pital,” between retching.

Steve was by his side, holding Danny’s head and he wasn’t sure if he had left to make the phone call or if he were there the whole time, but heard him say, “I’m trying to get a hold of Dr. Hoy, baby…just hang on.”

Danny pushed up with his hands and plopped onto his back, shaking his head, looking at Steve, with his phone pressed to his ear and said, “no…no hos’ital…can’t go…”

Steve was only paying him half attention, running a reassuring hand over his shaking shoulder, but still talking to someone on the phone. “Yes…” he shifted Danny’s blanket and hiked up his tee, pulling the Velcro to release the soft material pouch that enclosed Danny’s colostomy bag. “It’s still empty…I don’t know, earlier today. Okay, yes…thank you.”

Once Steve hung up, he tossed the phone to his side of the bed and kneeled next to him, asking, “Danno…are you with me?”

For whatever reason, the question tickled him and he said, “where…else I be?”

Steve smiled, fingers going to Danny’s sweaty brow and then up and through his hair. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m going to get dressed and by then the ambulance should…”

Danny pushed his hands away, trying to lever himself up, “NO…I can’t go…please, babe…”

“Whoa, hey, hey, hey…” Steve pushed him prone, kept a hand on Danny’s chest, no doubt feeling his thundering heart. “You’re sick, baby and you need the help…the EMT’s will have something for the nausea and pain, and Dr. Hoy is sending one of his fellows over to the ER to have a look at you, so what’s the concern?”

Danny shook his head, breaths coming in hard pants, not knowing how to explain. 

But he knew one thing for sure, he was scared.

Terrified by the very idea that a trip to the ER would end with a stint in the hospital.

The first time around he didn’t have a choice, but this time he did. “I, I ah…I don’t want…” he began, knowing that he wasn’t getting his point across because Steve had back stepped to the dresser and pulled on some cargo pants and stuffed his pocket with his wallet and keys, reaching across Danny to snatch up his phone. “I just...” he hated that his voice broke on, “…don’t make me…”

Steve stopped what he was doing, sitting near Danny’s hip, resting a big, warm hand on Danny’s cheek, wiping away some of the wetness under Danny’s eyes. “Danno…I know you’re scared…I am too, but you need to go…”

He could hear the sirens, hear them getting closer and Steve shifted to get up, but Danny grabbed his forearm, “Promise…promise you’ll stay…”

Steve slid his hand under Danny’s back, helping him sit up and folded him against his chest, wrapping him in his arms. “I’m not ever going to leave you, sweetheart…believe it.”

“I know…” He twined his fingers into Steve’s tee, fisting his shirt, trying to pull him even closer, “I mean…come with me in the ambulance…okay?”

“Okay,” Steve agreed, pulling back enough to plant a few comforting kisses along Danny’s brow, his nose, his closed eye lids. “Don’t be scared, babe…Dr. Hoy and his team will figure out what’s going on and fix you right up and I’ll stay with you, okay? Every step of the way…I’m not leaving you, Danno.” 

H50H50H50

Steve could still feel Danny trembling against him, but the sirens were getting closer and closer and he knew he had to go down and disarm the alarm and open the front door, but Danny pulled him closer, held on a little tighter.

He rubbed Danny’s broad back through his soft tee, not liking the heat radiating from his skin, but the last time he had checked, only a few hours ago, Danny’s temp was near normal and he worried that maybe he should have insisted Danny take some Tylenol.

He was about to suggest that he help Danny down the steps, to make it easier on all of them to get him into the ambulance, when Danny suddenly shifted and started to vomit again. 

Steve held onto him as he splashed the side of the blanket and towel, only about half of it making it into the basin.

There was pounding on the door, but he didn’t want to leave Danny like this, so he ignored it, thinking at some point, they would just break the door in.

Danny settled back a bit, wiping his mouth on a tissue from the bedside box, saying, “go let them in before we wake the whole neighborhood.”

Steve helped him adjust, making sure the pillow was firmly holding Danny’s head and that he wasn’t in danger of falling before nodding and taking off down the steps, bounding two or three at a time, hollering, “I’m coming.”

He quickly punched in his code to disarm the alarm and unlocked the front door. 

He stepped back as two men walked past him, carrying big bags of equipment.

“Tell us what is happening,” one said as the other dropped his bag and went back out the door.

“My partner, Danny Williams, has been feeling sick all day,” Steve began, ushering the older of the two men toward the stairs. The pair looked familiar, and Steve was sure he may have had even known their names, but he couldn’t think of them now. “He has a low-grade fever and started to vomit about three hours ago,” they had made it to the landing when the younger of the two joined them, carrying a bag and what looked like some kind of folded chair. “He had been able to sleep a little, but woke up again to be sick and is complaining about pain in his stomach…he ah, he was injured in the line of duty about five months ago, and has a colostomy. I’ve spoken with his Gastro, who is sending someone to meet us at the ER,” Steve finished, hoping that he had given all the information needed.

The man nodded, then pushed through the door and went right over to the bed, ignoring the mess on the floor and in the basin, but the younger man took a second or two to study the contents.

“Hi, Danny…I’m Mike and this is my partner, Kai…I understand you’re not feeling so good?” Mike took hold of Danny’s arm while he spoke, slipping a blood pressure cuff over Danny’s bicep and Kai used his stethoscope to listen to Danny’s chest.

As for Danny, he only nodded and laid very still, allowing them both to do whatever they needed to do.

Steve moved closer to the foot of the bed, trying to catch Danny’s eye, but his boyfriend either stared at the ceiling or closed his eyes, only nodding or shaking his head in answer and when he was asked a specific question that required a spoken answer, he lurched over the bed and vomited into the basin, his aim improved over the last time.

Mike didn’t seem deterred as he continued to exam Danny, checking and noting his vitals and asking about his pain level. “Can you show me where it hurts?” and Danny pointed just right of his navel. The man pressed his fingers in deep and Steve sat down on the bed when Danny cried out, touching Danny’s ankle through the blanket to let him know that he was still there with him. “Do you feel like you might be sick again?”

Danny nodded his head and leaned over the bed again, but this time what came up scared Steve. It was dark and putrid and the smell almost made him sick.

Things moved faster after that. 

Kai pulled open the folded chair thing, and Mike started an I.V., taping it down to Danny’s furry arm and handing Steve the bag of fluids.

“I’ve got him,” Mike said, “go get the gurney and radio in.”

Kai slipped from the room and Mike told Danny what he was going to do. 

The chair thing laid flat too and it had a series of wheels under it. Once he had it at the right height, he said, “Okay, Danny. I am going to help you scoot over here and then we can get you to the ambulance…do you think you can help?”

“Yeah…I think so…”

“Good, do you need to be sick again?” While he waited for the answer, Mike leaned over and took a hold of Danny’s tee and sleep pants. Kai came back in just as Steve was thinking that he would have to help in some way, but the younger man went around the other side and kneeled on the bed, slipping his hands under Danny and within seconds, they had him on the thing, sitting the back up and handing Danny a new basin. Kai buckled him in as Mike took the bag of fluids and hung it off the back of the chair and then the two were moving toward the door of the bedroom and then carefully down the stairs. 

The full-sized gurney sat in the living room and once they had the chair parallel, they reclined it again and carefully transferred their strapped in patient, inclining the back just enough so that if Danny puked again, he could use the basin he still held. 

Steve followed them through the front door, not even sure if he locked it in his hurry to catch up to them and jumped in once Danny’s gurney was in position and locked in. 

Kai slammed the back door, leaving Mike to take care of his patient and Steve could hear the driver’s side door creak open and then slam shut, the big engine turning over and the whole vehicle swaying as Kai navigated them down their drive and out onto their street, not starting up the sirens until they reached the main road.

“One to ten, how’s the pain now,” Mike asked, writing down something on a little note pad he had pulled from one of the side pockets of his pants.

Danny swallowed hard and then looked to Steve, who sat across from him in the jump seat. “I ah…I guess a six.”

Steve reached toward him, taking up his clammy hand and squeezed, trying to lend his strength and asked, “are you sure only a six, babe?”

“Ye..well, maybe closer to an eight.”

Mike knocked on a partitioned window between them and the driver and Kai lowered the sliding glass and said, “Relayed current vitals, surgeon in route, ETA twelve minutes, Queens approved zero point five morphine and twelve point five promethazine.” 

“Thanks Kai,” Mike slid the window back up and stood and leaned over Danny, opening a few cabinets and pulling out what he needed, he and Steve both hanging on as the ambulance went around a sharp turn. “Danny, I am going to give you something to help with the pain and with the nausea.”

Steve watched as he injected one and then a second prefilled syringe into a port on Danny’s IV. He still held Danny’s hand and gave it a little shake to get his attention. “You’re doing great, Danno…we’re almost there.”

Danny nodded, his cheeks flushing before he bent over the basin and threw up more of the brown sludge, which just seemed to make him gag more. 

Steve used his thumb to rub a pattern over Danny’s palm, trying to distract him, until the retching stopped and Mike took the basin, putting a new one in Danny’s hands, saying, “Hang in there…the meds will kick in soon and you’ll stop feeling sick to your stomach…how’s the pain now?”

To Steve, Danny looked a little better, not so pale or clammy and he had stopped trembling, although his eyes had looked a little red. 

He mumbled, “better,” and Steve hoped that meant that at least the morphine had kicked in.

The ambulance slowed and started to beep as it backed up. Next thing Steve knew, the doors where yanked open and Kai was pulling Danny away from him, Mike on his heels as they quickly and efficiently pushed the gurney through sliding glass doors and then down a hall. 

Steve jogged to catch up, ignoring one of the nurses that tried to steer him toward the waiting room. Both men rattled off Danny’s vitals and his condition, moving through the ER and down another corridor, where the rooms were a little bigger and had walls between the units, not just curtains.

Danny’s bed was turned and he was pushed head first into the room, the gurney coming to rest next to an exam bed. Between Mike and Kai and what had to have been a male nurse, Danny was unstrapped, reclined, lifted and inclined again within seconds, a clean basin placed in his hands.

“Hope you feel better soon, Danny.” Mike said, as he and Kai backed out with the gurney, leaving them alone with the nurse.

The bald man approached Danny, checking the bag of fluids and then hooking him up to a machine that took his blood pressure and measured his oxygen saturation. “I’m Jake,” he told Danny, pointing to a button that was pinned to his scrubs, “I’m your murse.” Which is what the button said, getting a little smile out of Danny. 

Jake listened to Danny’s heart for a few minutes before looping the stethoscope back around his neck. “Dr. Choi from Gastro is on her way down and will exam you when she gets here. How are you feeling now?”

“Better…” Danny reached for Steve, so he stepped closer, taking his hand. He knew Danny was still feeling anxious, and truth be told, so was he. 

Neither knew what to expect.

Jake pulled a cord away from the wall and used the attached clip to attach the device to the bed near Danny’s head. “I will be back in twenty to check on you two, but if you need me before then, just press the call button. Hopefully Dr. Choi won’t be too long.”

Steve hooked the chair in the corner with his foot and sat by Danny’s side, still holding his hand. “You look a little better, Danno.”

“I do feel better…just a little nauseous, but the pain in my stomach is bearable…just as long as no one touches me.”

Steve didn’t want to point out that that wasn’t likely, but he kept it to himself and watched as Danny slowly blinked his eyes, fighting to keep them open.

He stood then, moving closer and leaning against the raised railing, saying, “sleep, sweetheart…it might take the doctor awhile to get here, so rest while you can.”

Danny nodded, eyes drooping, but he blinked them open again, holding onto Steve’s hand just a little tighter.

“I promise I am not leaving, baby…I’ll be right here when you wake up, okay?” he leaned forward and kissed Danny’s forehead, palming his cheek with his free hand and then dotted a few kisses on Danny’s parted lips, pleased to see that when he pulled away, Danny’s eyes were closed and his breathing had evened out.

He adjusted his chair, so that his back was to the curtained off hall opening, but he could see Danny’s face better and when Danny’s hand went lax in his, he could comfortably rest his hand on Danny’s forearm, rubbing lightly with his fingers so that his lover would know, he was still there.

H50H50H50


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve was trying hard to be optimistic, but the possibility petrified him, more than that, it broke his heart.

H50H50H50 

Danny drifted in artificial slumber, eyes closed tight, curled on his side with his legs drawn up to his chest, his whole body heavy, but pleasantly numb, not asleep, yet not awake.

Soft fingertips lightly made little circular patterns over his palm and up his arm, a thumb smoothing over the inside of his elbow before making a return trip back to his hand to start the pattern all over again.

Sometime later, he could feel his sheets being drawn away and someone pressing a palm against his shoulder, helping him shift to his back and he shivered as cool air caressed his heated flesh.

Faceless, nameless people buzzed around him, talking to him, asking him questions that he couldn’t comprehend, let alone answer, his thoughts swirled away from him, unable to grasp and hold onto anything.

He heard a new person, a soft, lyrical voice ask, “okay?” and he tried to open his eyes, tried to nod his head, not sure what the question was or if it were even directed at him.

Someone was touching him now, pressing hands hard into his tender belly, awakening little twinges, but the drugs they had given him were doing their job and the stabbing pain, the gut-wrenching sickness, stayed mostly beneath the surface.

Both of his arms were grabbed at the elbow and he was lifted, shifted up to a more sitting position, his eyes finally falling open, the ceiling tiles and then the privacy curtain in his line of sight doing a slow spin before he was laid back down onto something hard and unyielding.

His gaze moved to a machine standing next to his bed, an arm of some sort hanging over him. 

Something heavy and wide was laid over his legs, and he could see a man dressed in blue scrubs and a lead apron standing at the controls of the machine.

The owner of the soft voice, a middle-aged woman, her dark hair pilled in a messy bun on top of her head, her white lab coat in contrast to the deep purple scrubs she wore, stood back, and a quick shift of his eyes showed that the nurse from before was also in the room, standing near the pulled curtain, but his partner was not in sight, so he shifted, fighting a small surge of panic that gripped his belly, the drugs in his system fading.

“Try to stay still,” the man leaned over him and said, “the x-rays will only take a few minutes.”

“Uh…” he turned his head, more aware, looking for Steve, feeling a slow, sickly, churn in his belly, “whe…where’s…”

“He’s right outside,” the man assured, “and can come back in as soon as I finish, okay?”

Danny nodded, laying back flat, watching through droopy eyes as the machine arm was manipulated and then his own body and then the small group in his room stepped beyond the curtain and the man walked toward the exit, holding an attached device in his hand and said, “hold your breath.”

Danny did, listening to the machine whirl above him.

“Good, now breathe.”

He let the air in his lungs go and breathed normal until he was instructed to hold his breath again.

After another series of manipulations, the man was done and the nurse and doctor stepped back into the room, followed by Steve and Danny felt his heart rate slow and his body calming just with the sight of his lover.

The x-ray technician tucked the arm of the machine back into place and he and Jake lifted Danny up and off the x-ray plate he was lying on and then the man was done, pushing his machine out the door.

Steve walked right up to him, his big hand coming to rest on Danny’s cheek and then his fingers brushed up and through Danny’s hair and the doctor began speaking again.

He tried to pay attention to what she was saying, but his eyes closed under Steve’s gentle ministrations, having found out that one way to sooth Danny was to rub his scalp and play with his hair.

He wasn’t sure how long his eyes remained closed. He could hear Steve talking with the doctor and then the soothing hand left his hair and Steve said, “can you open your eyes, sweetheart?” 

His room was quieter now, he could only hear the distant hum and beep of machines and his own slow breaths, but he opened his eyes.

Steve was sitting back in his chair, near enough that he could rest his hand on Danny’s arm again.

When Danny looked toward Steve, his partner gave him a small smile and a pat to his arm and said, “Dr. Choi went to review your x-rays and then they are taking you for a CT scan.”

He could feel his body tense, but the gentle pull of the fading drugs kept him calm. He asked, “why…need…”

Steve shifted forward, frowning, but then shook his head and said, “I guess you were still pretty out of it when Dr. Choi first came in to exam you…she’s fairly certain you have something called a mechanical obstruction. They needed the x-ray to locate the blockage and the CT scan will show if it’s partial or complete.”

Danny saw that Steve was watching him closely, waiting to see if he had had any questions, but he didn’t. 

His brain was still a little fuzzy and he couldn’t articulate what he wanted to ask, so he just nodded and shifted on the bed, trying to roll to his side and a more comfortable position.

Steve stood, putting a hand on his shoulder, saying, “Jake is coming back in a minute, Danno…”

He didn’t understand why that would matter, why he couldn’t still turn to his side, but before he could ask, the man in question stepped into the room, his hands full, but he unburdened himself, laying out what he needed on the counter and rolling tray near Danny’s bed and said, “okay, first things first…let’s get you into a gown.”

Danny frowned, feeling panic bubble in his belly again, but Steve stood, gripping his hand, then helping him to lean forward to take off his tee as Jake threaded his arms through the sleeves of the blue gown, unsnapping one shoulder, mindful of his IV. 

Jake said, “lift your hips,” and his sleep pants and boxers were yanked down and off, leaving him to lay bare legged and shivering on the thin mattress while Jake raised the head of the bed and Steve pulled the blanket up to his chest.

His clothes were slipped into a plastic bag and handed to Steve, who just tossed them into the chair he had been sitting in, coming back to stand near Danny’s head, a comforting hand on his forearm, asking, “okay?” 

He nodded, eyes going to the table that the nurse rolled closer to the bed, watching as he pulled on gloves and laid out some tubing attached to a syringe, a basin and some tissues, a few little packets of something that Danny couldn’t identify and a cup of water with a straw. The nurse picked up the tube and said, “you had one of these the last time you stayed with us, do you remember?”

If he thought about it, he was sure that he could, but he didn’t want to think about it. 

He nodded anyway. 

Steve squeezed his shoulder, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the tube that the nurse held up, watching as he moved closer to the bed, laying the tube on his face, near his nose and then up and around his ear and then down to almost his belly button.

Jake nodded to himself, pulling the tube away from Danny, sticking an overlapping piece of tape on the tube to mark his spot. He took the other end and wrapped it around his finger a few times, making a gentle curve in the tubing.

When he was satisfied, he opened one of the little packets and stuck the curved end in.

Lubrication, Danny realized, feeling tears well up in his eyes, but he blinked them away as Jake moved to the bedside with the tube, telling Danny, “relax and breath normal, okay? This won’t hurt.”

At some point, Steve had started to gently stoke his arm, but he didn’t want to look at him just yet, to show his gratitude for his steady and comforting presence, because Danny didn’t think he could take whatever face Steve was wearing.

“I want you to shift your head back on the pillow,” Jake told him, so he rested his head back, knowing that he was elongating his neck as he did so. “That’s it…you’re going to feel the tube now, relax…”

He felt the coldness of the lube as the nurse placed it in his right nostril and pushed it downward. Jake stopped just a few inches in and said, “now lift your head and sip slowly from the straw.”

Danny took the offered cup and began to take small sips, feeling the tube snake down his throat, inch by inch, with each swallowed mouthful of water, until he could feel the piece of tape that had marked the tube at the opening of his nostril.

Jake took the cup from him and asked, “okay?”

“Ye…yeah…”

“Good,” Jake screwed the syringe on the other end of the tube, but Danny couldn’t see what he was doing and after a few seconds, he disconnected the syringe and screwed the tube to a port somewhere off to Danny’s right, flipping a button or two and a new hum of a machine sounded in his room. 

The nurse peeled the back off a bandage and secured the tube with it to the end of Danny’s nostril, making him scrunch and want to scratch his nose. 

“I know it might be a little uncomfortable, but it will keep your belly nice and empty and you won’t feel nauseous anymore.”

The items on the tray were swiftly gathered, the nurse’s gloves shucked and tossed into the red trashcan in the corner as Jake told him, “if your mouth feels dry you or Steve can ask for some moist swabs.”

The man reached over to the counter and got some gauze and surgical tape and a tube of ointment with a prescription tag hanging off it, uncapping it before pulling on some fresh gloves.

Steve kept up his gentle touches, but Danny still couldn’t bring himself to look over to his partner, knowing that he might just break down if he did.

Jake reclined the bed a few more degrees and then pulled back the sheet and blanket, lifting his gown, gloved hands carefully peeling back the wafer that held his colostomy bag in place, inspecting his stoma and the slightly irritated skin around it. “Since there is no output, we are going to treat your skin infection and just keep the stoma covered.”

The nurse tossed the bag and wafer in the same red trash bin, using his foot to lift the lid and then picked up the tube of gel, squirting some onto the gloved hand that hadn’t touched him yet, smearing it all the way around Danny’s ostomy site, even though only the underside was irritated and then he used a few gauzes to cover the stoma, taping down the edges. “With any luck, the skin infection will be cleared before you need to put on another appliance.”

The nurse moved to the other side of the bed, picking up the tubing that was up Danny’s nose, inspecting the brownish sludge within it before letting it go, to hang over the bed rail. “Someone will be down any minute to take you to imaging,” Jake told him and then asked, “do you think you can pee?”

He didn’t know why the question startled him, but he instantly worried that if couldn’t pee, another tube would be inserted into his body and that thought was almost too much.

He finally took a quick glance at Steve, whose gaze was on Jake as the man rooted through one of the cabinets, finally pulling out a plastic wrapped urinal.

They both watched as the nurse unwrapped it and moved toward Danny, handing him the thing by the handle and saying, “I’m going to go see how much longer, but I want you to try to go, okay?”

Danny nodded, “ah…okay, I’ll try.”

Jake fussed with one of the machines before heading to the curtained off corridor, leaving him awkwardly holding the urinal and feeling his cheeks pink, which was just stupid, because he and Steve had peed in front of each other before...hell, they had been a lot more intimate then that.

Once the nurse was gone, Danny turned his gaze back to Steve, who was still standing, hand resting on Danny’s shoulder.

Steve smiled at Danny and took the urinal from his hands, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips and then lifted the sheets, pushing the thing under the blanket, using a hand to part Danny’s legs, giving his thigh a slow squeeze and then picked up his penis and guided his organ into the plastic bottle top. “You’re looking a little better, baby,” Steve said, covering him up and sinking into his seat. “Just relax and try to pee.”

Danny blushed again, he could feel the heat on his neck and face, but he nodded his head, bearing down, feeling a little urine leak out and into the bottle. 

Trying to distract himself, trying not to worry about the possibility of a catheter in his near future, he asked, “what uh…what did Dr. Choi say would happen next?”

Steve shifted his chair closer, reaching for Danny’s hand, which made Danny’s heart pick up its pace.

He tried to read Steve’s expression, but he only saw compassion and love, so he willed himself to settle down.

“She said that, if it’s an impaction, they will treat you with fluids and pain management, and monitor the blockage to see if it will pass on its own.” 

Steve shifted forward in his seat, giving Danny’s hand another soft squeeze and Danny was worried about the answer to his next question, but he needed to ask, “and what if it doesn’t pass on its own?”

H50H50H50

Steve knew that when Dr. Choi had first come in to exam Danny, Danny had been drugged and hopefully feeling no pain, so it was inevitable that Danny would eventually start asking questions.

Steve was just hoping that he wouldn’t have to be the one to answer them.

Not because he couldn’t explain what the next steps would be, but because he couldn’t bear to cause Danny any more worry…he knew that Danny was already so anxious, and that Danny didn’t want to have to stay in hospital.

Steve didn’t want to be the one that had to tell Danny that he was in for more than a few hours’ stint in the ER, that admitting had already been called and that once the CT scan was done, he would be moved to a room for observation.

But so far, Danny hadn’t been asking the right questions, so he answered honestly, hoping that the drugs in his system would dull his mind and keep him worry-free for a little while longer.

“Well,” he finally said, not liking the frown on Danny’s face, hoping that he would be able to reassure him enough to drop the subject, “there are a few options, but she said to cross that bridge if we came to it.”

He knew that that bit of advice would be hard for Danny, because Danny’s mind always, always went to the worst-case scenario, and in this case, that would mean that adhesions had formed from his previous surgeries and had caused a total obstruction, which would require additional surgery, which would mean removing more of Danny’s intestine, which would mean months of recovery, jeopardizing his chances of a colostomy reversal and basically putting Danny right back at square one.

Steve was trying hard to be optimistic, but the possibility petrified him, more than that, it broke his heart.

He remembered, in the beginning, all the hurt Danny had been in and his utter frustration and the feeling of uselessness in not knowing how to help Danny deal with his pain.

He remembered the sheer exhaustion, how Danny would sleep most of the time, too quiet, too still…and when he had been awake, it was hard work and slow going, his body trembling for the exertion to just move from the bed to the kitchen or from the kitchen to the reclining chair in the living room.

Steve was terrified for Danny and if he were being honest, for himself too…

They were in such a good place right now and Steve was scared that all of Danny’s healing, his determination, his hard work, would be ripped from him, but Steve had to be very careful not to show his thoughts, because Danny could read him like a book, so he settled back in his chair, starting up the gentle touches to Danny’s palm again, trying to change the subject by asking, “how’s it going over there? Did you pee?”

The frown on Danny’s face deepened, but he allowed the change in topic, answering, “ah…a little.”

Danny pulled the bottle from between his legs and capped it, setting it on the nearby tray table and Steve could see he hadn’t managed to pee that much, but they had told them when Danny had arrived that he had been already seriously dehydrated. 

Still, a little knot had formed in his stomach after he had spoken with the doctor and now he felt like it was roiling around a bit, so to distract them both, he stood, sidling up to the raised rail and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to Danny’s lips, ignoring the tube protruding from Danny’s nose, smiling against them when Danny opened for him.

It wasn’t heated or even sexual, he just wanted to give some comfort and maybe get some in return.

When he started to pull back, Danny raise a hand to the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair, holding him there, just allowing them to share the same breath and gaze into each other’s eyes before his lover said, “I’m…I’m really scared, babe…” 

Steve could feel his own eyes welling as he watched a few tears break free and trickle down Danny’s cheek. 

They both reached for them at the same time, but Steve got there first, so he wiped them away with the back of his hand, waiting while Danny took in a few shuddering breaths, saying, “I mean, I know that whatever is wrong with me won’t be a quick fix and I don’t think I can…” 

Steve shook his head, wanting to deny Danny’s words, wanting to reassure him that whatever was to come, they could get through it together, but Danny let go of him, turning his head, and muttering, “I just don’t know if I can go through all that again.” 

Steve’s heart clenched and he had to resist the very real urge to crawl into bed with Danny, wanting to wrap Danny in his arms and never let him go again, but instead, he took a steadying breath and vowed once again, “it’s going to be alright, sweetheart,” because he had to believe that, “I promise,” he soothed, sliding his hand to Danny’s shoulder, then around to squeeze the back of his neck, “it’s going to be okay.”

Whatever else might have been said was interrupted by someone pulling back the curtain. 

Steve straightened up, seeing a man pushing a gurney into the room, followed by Jake, who pulled a syringe from his pocket and injected the contents into Danny’s IV, tossing the spent needle into the sharps bin, asking Danny, “ready for a ride,” and Steve stepped back a little, making room and within minutes they had unhooked Danny from a few machines, pulled him across the small distance between the two beds and bundled him in blankets, tucking him in, placing the suction machine for the NG tube between his legs.

He grabbed Danny’s clothes bag and followed the gurney out the door and down the hall, reaching for Danny’s hand once they were ensconced in the elevator, determined to keep the promise to stay with Danny to the best of his ability. 

He was a bit surprised when the nurse didn’t suggest that he go right to the waiting room when they arrived at Imaging and instead, he followed the gurney down a hallway and to a closed door. 

The orderly left them then and Jake said, “be right back,” and slipped into the room. 

Steve could see the machinery and knew it was where the CAT scan would be done, but he looked away from the door once it closed and back down at Danny, who was lying very still on the gurney, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, breathing deep.

He still had a grip on Steve’s hand, so Steve wasn’t too sure that Danny was totally sleeping, but he was on his way and he felt terrible that in the next little bit, someone would be waking him again, moving him to the table attached to the scan machine and then back to a gurney for the trip to his room and after that, probably more blood work and morning rounds and vitals checks and dozens of other things that would keep Danny from really resting.

Danny shifted, tightening his hold on Steve and whispered, “stop thinking so hard...and watching me sleep, it’s still creepy.”

He couldn’t help the smile that hit his lips, he would take a playful Danny, telling him he was creepy, any day over a weepy, scared Danny, so he leaned forward and kissed Danny again, saying, “I’m sorry, baby…you just rest a little while we wait.”

But Danny blinked his eyes opened, rubbing them with his free hand and squinted up at him, asking, “What time is it anyway? I know the meds are kicking in, but I’m really tired.”

Steve pulled his phone from his pocket, a bit surprised to see that it was almost five in the morning. “It’s four fifty-two, sweetheart, and I bet you are tired.”

Most nights, Danny didn’t get quality sleep, usually getting up and going down to the living room or out onto the beach at some point, with his bottle of Mylanta, sometimes cat napping wherever he landed and Steve couldn’t help but to wonder if maybe that had been a warning sign that he had missed.

“You’re doing it again,” Danny said, more awake this time, still squinting up at him.

“Being creepy or thinking too hard,” Steve asked, resting his arms along the raised gurney rails so he could be closer to Danny, “Cause I gotta say, you didn’t even have your eyes closed and it’s no hardship to stare at you.”

Danny reached up and actually bopped him lightly on the head, calling him, “goof,” and muttering on about what other transgressions that Steve had obviously committed in the few minutes that they had been left to wait in the hall. 

Steve was ridiculously happy that Danny seemed to be feeling better.

Soon, he could hear voices getting closer to the other side of the door, so he told Danny, “I think you’re up sweetheart and I think they will be showing me the waiting room, so…will you be okay for a few minutes on your own?”

Although his hand tightened around Steve’s, Danny nodded his head, and said, “I think I’ll make it…I’m not feeling so…needy now that the pain and puking has stopped.”

“Nice,” Steve leaned over and kissed him again as the door opened and Jake came out, followed by a burly man in purple scrubs and a lab coat, but before anyone else could say anything, Steve wanted to ask, “do you want me to call your parent to let them know what’s going on?”

Danny seemed to think it over, but then shook his head, “Let’s wait until we have the test result, have a better idea of what’s going on and I’m in my own room.”

Steve should had known that Danny would had figured out that he wouldn’t be going back to the ER after his scan and he wondered what else he had known, if maybe he hadn’t been as out of it as Steve had thought when Dr. Choi made her first visit, but he agreed, “okay,” and reluctantly let go of Danny hand.

The two other men took their cue and grabbed the gurney and guided it into the room, Jake turning just before the door shut to tell him, “the waiting room is just down this hall and around the corner, someone will come get you when he’s done, but that won’t be at least twenty to thirty minutes.”

“Thanks.” He turned from the closing door and went to find the waiting room, having his pick of seats, he landed in the back row, where he could see the hallway when someone came to get him and the clock above the deserted check in desks.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, hitting speed dial two and hoping that Chin would already be awake, that he wouldn’t be disturbing Malia. The man answered on the second ring, sounding concerned, but not sleepy, asking, “what’s wrong?”

Steve sighed, but told him, “I’m at the hospital with Danny, they’re going to be admitting him once he has some tests down, so I’m not coming in today…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry, Steve…we’ve got the case covered…Danny’s the most important thing right now…”

“Yeah, Chin…you’re right.” Steve went on to tell him a little of what had transpired, hanging up with promises of check-ins and coffee and food when he was ready and his truck, “but it’s no hurry, brah…I’m not going anywhere.’

He could hear Chin chuckling, saying, “I didn’t think otherwise,” as Steve pressed the end button and pocketed his phone.

And Chin was right…he was always right.

Danny was Steve’s most important, most significant, most vital…everything now and he always would be.

H50H50H50


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck Davis and the fucking bullet that was meant for him!

H50H50H50

Even though the room was warm, goosebumps rose on his exposed arms and little shivers rocked his body and even though the machine he was laying under was loud and distracting, whirling and spinning, Danny took in a few unsteady breaths, trying to calm himself.

He was bone tired and oh so weary, his eyes felt sandy and full of grit, so heavy that he just finally closed them, blocking out the view of sterile walls, the glass panel and the tech standing behind it, his face neutral and unreadable.

He felt…completely raw, physically spent and emotionally drained and…it just sucked, god damn it. 

He pushed down on the surge of emotion, the tears he could feel gathering at the corners of his eyes, pissed that he couldn’t seem to control himself.

Was this his new reality?

Was he doomed to be a gibbering, quivering, teary eyed, mess every time a stressful situation came along, which was all the fucking time, thank you very much…at least for him.

Take his demanding and often dangerous work environment.

That was, if he could even make it back to work...if he could heal from this newest development in his health…if he could make the right decision regarding having the reversal surgery…if that were even still a possibility for him.

And…who was to say, if all that worked itself out, that he and Steve would still even click as work partners again?

They had already spent so much of their free time together, which would seem like a plus, but this new dynamic between them might change his perspective on everything work related, like their everyday banter…those quips and occasional barbs, that they tossed at each other, weren’t meant to hurt, but his and Steve’s emotions for each other had changed now and he knew from past experiences that words could hurt, that words could kill a relationship and don’t get him started on Steve’s reckless behavior…it had already been hard enough just watching the risks when they were just very close friends.

And let’s not forget about his new home situation, which only felt like home, because of Steve. 

Nothing in the house, he had been living in for the last five months, were even his, except for his clothes and maybe a few books, a few DVD’s. All his belongings were still boxed up and sitting in Steve’s garage…not that he had ever approached Steve about unpacking, about letting him completely move in and what the hell did that say about him?

That he was scared, that’s what.

He wanted their relationship…more than anything…wanted the sex and intimacy and all that came along with sharing space with someone you loved, but it had…it had never ever worked out for him in the past, so maybe it was just easier to leave his stuff in boxes in the garage. 

Less clean up and hassle for when it inevitably all fell to shit. 

And then where would he be?

Back to living in a shitty apartment if he were unable to go back to work, only this time he would have to worry about his newly acquired custody arrangement with his ex-wife.

Having shared custody was wonderful, knowing that Grace lived with him, and then with him and Steve, two weeks and weekends a month soothed his very soul, but there had also been worry about scheduling and holidays and unexpected calls into work in the beginning, and frankly he had been a bit surprised that Rachel hadn’t taken him back to court when he had been injured, because she would had been right. 

He did have a dangerous job and his schedule was unpredictable and that Grace would had been better off living full time with her mother and only spending some of her time with him.

This time the tears leaked from the corners and he wanted to wipe them away, still so angry with himself for losing that…whatever the hell it was that made him…well, him.

Had one little bullet ripped his very essence away from him too?

“You’re doing great,” the tinny voice of the tech said from behind the glass. “It’s only a few more minutes, but do you need a break…how are you feeling?”

For the first time, Danny had noticed that the machine had stilled and quieted, so he raised a hand and wiped at his eyes, shaking his head and said, “I’m good…just want to get this over with.”

He hadn’t felt sick to his stomach since they had placed the NG tube, so at least he had that going for him.

The nausea was completely gone, the tube up his noses was pumping out fluids and bile and anything that had backed up out of his intestines, and just the thought of what he had been throwing up towards the end, made him want to hurl, but the NG was doing its job, keeping his stomach empty and calm.

The machine above him slowly started back up, so he laid as still as possible and tried to think on better things.

The pain in his belly was mostly gone, only a few little twinges here and there to remind him of how awful the pain had been, but he mostly felt pleasantly numb, so there was that…

And he also knew that all those doubts and fears, that had just ambushed him, hadn’t been there before, at least not as intense, so maybe he could blame his crisis on the good drugs that kept the worst of his pain at bay.

There was always a tradeoff, right?

The only concern he should have right now was what was happening in his bowels.

He had been remembering bits and pieces of what Dr. Choi had explained to him and Steve, even though his eyes were closed and he had been high on pain meds at the time.

But he didn’t want to start thinking about all that could be wrong and all that may happen, so he closed his eyes again and just concentrated on things that made him happy…

…Like his Sunday morning breakfast dates with Steve that often led to soft kisses, slow cuddling and lazy sex...

…his baby girl waking up in her own room at Steve’s…at his place, all smiles and excitement, bounding down the stairs where they would all head to the kitchen to make coffee, make breakfast, get together lunches, working together like they had been doing it for years and then Steve would drive her to school…

His thoughts turned to Kono and her new/old boyfriend, but mostly of her being happy with her life and then an image of Chin from his birthday celebration came to mind, laughing while he opened his gifts, his hands moving to Malia in her bed whenever they could and then of Malia, rubbing her little belly and the new baby that everyone was so excited to meet.

He must have finally drifted off to sleep, because when he next opened his eyes, the gurney he was on was in an elevator and two men, that he hadn’t seen before, dressed in scrubs, were standing at his foot and head. 

The elevator bumped to a stop and the doors parted and he was pulled through, watching the ceiling tiles and bright lights whiz by, shivering with the cool air that raced over his body as they took him through another set of doors, past a nurse’s station and down a long corridor, before he was turned a pushed head first into a private room.

The gurney was aligned with the bed, and the two men adjusted his blankets and pulled on the sheet he was laying on and shifted him over to the new bed. 

One man pulled off his blanket and shifted him to his side, pulling out the sheet he had been laying on, bundling the bedding up and tossing it on the gurney, while the other shifted him back, pulling up the sheet and blanket that came with his new bed, and handing off his bag of fluids and the little machine, that was still steadily sucking gunk out of his stomach, to a woman who had entered the room, as he was being moved to the bed.

She was older, maybe in her early fifties, graying hair cut short around her round, but likable and kind face. She smiled and said, “hello, Danny…I’m Shelby, your nurse for today.”

She took the nearly empty bag of fluids and hung it on a poll by his bed, and then the machine was attached to something out of Danny’s sight, somewhere along the wall behind his head, and then she went about hooking him back up to a machine that would monitor his blood pressure, pulling the cuff from an attached bin, wrapping it around his left bicep, sticking the little clip that would measure his oxygen levels to the index finger of the same side.

She pressed the button on the machine to get a new reading and turned to pull some stuff out of a drawer across from his bed. “I have some new orders from Dr. Hoy, who will be by later this morning to check in on you.”

She pulled the tray table over to his bedside and laid out some little electrodes and some stick disks and Danny remember them from his last stay…they would be monitoring his heart, which made the muscle in question speed up a bit.

She shifted through the papers that sat on the table, reading and then turned to a cabinet below the drawer, pulling out a covered box and then she said, “he’s going to start you on some antibiotics, so I’ll be right back.”

As she was leaving, Steve pushed through the door, so she greeted him, saying, “I’m Shelby, Danny’s nurse.”

“Steve, Danny’s partner,” but Danny could see that Steve only had eyes for him and his heart did another little flip, but settled now that his boyfriend was near.

“I need to go grab something, but I’ll be right back.”

Steve walked over to him, picking up his hand, using his free one to run fingers through Danny’s hair, whispering, “you look so tired, sweetheart. Hopefully once she gets you settled they will leave you alone long enough so you can sleep.”

“That would be nice,” he agreed, sighing and sinking down into the thin mattress under him, feeling a little more relaxed. 

Shelby came back with a couple of bags of fluid, and hung them next to the almost depleted one, that was attached to the tube taped down to Danny’s arm. She fitted the smaller bag to a port and started the drip, leaving the bigger one, presumably until the other was completely empty.

“Okay,” she moved toward him, unsnapping the other sleeve of his blue gown at the shoulder, pulling it down to expose his hairy chest. “We are going to get you hooked up, but I’m afraid we might need to remove some hair…the disks will stick now, but hurt like a son of a bitch coming off…what do you think? I little shave job?”

“I ah…” he glanced toward Steve, who was still standing, still running fingers through his mussy hair, but he just frowned, raised an eyebrow, seemingly saying, ‘it’s up to you’. “Okay,” he agreed, better to be a little bald in some spots, then having his hair ripped from his chest later.

She went back to the bank of cabinets and pulled out a basin, taking the plastic wrap off the top and grabbing the disposable razor, sitting the other toiletries aside, she pulled on some gloves and moved his direction.

She pulled the backing off the disks she stuck to his side and back, the ones higher on his chest, that didn’t need the grooming, and then gently pulled the razor over the hair on three or four spots on his chest, sticking the disks to newly smooth skin, attaching all the electrodes to them, flipping some buttons on the machine that had been tracking his blood pressure and oxygen levels.

The room was full of the sound of his heart thudding away and the machine displayed the lines across the screen that corresponded with the steady beats. 

She turned the volume down, righting his gown, snapping the enclosures at each shoulder, before going back to the box on the table, gliding the gloves down and off, tossing them in the nearby bin, saying, “You might want Steve to step out for a few minutes…Dr. Hoy wants to monitor your kidney function and urine output.”

She pulled on the gloves that were in the box and he watched as she unpacked some items, tubing and a collection bag, a large needleless syringe and some small packets, some cotton balls, a plastic forceps and a folded piece of paper that reminded him of the bib that a dentist would use to protect your clothes, while they worked on your teeth.

He shivered, feeling a whole-body shudder, starting in the pit of his stomach and working its way up, but he clung to Steve’s hand a little tighter and looked Steve’s way.

The last time he had had a catheter placed, he was unconscious, but he clearly remembered the unpleasant feeling of it being pulled from his body later.

Steve stopped rubbing his head and leaned over him, kissing him firmly on the mouth and said, “it’s up to you, Danno. I can stay or leave if that helps you feel better about it,”

Danny nodded, turning back to Shelby and said, “he can stay.”

She nodded her head, screwing the syringe onto one end of the tube and gently pushed the plunger to inflate the small white balloon on the business end of the thing. 

Steve walked away from him, pulling over a chair and sat it by Danny’s bed, angling it so that he would be looking at Danny’s face and then took back Danny’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

On his other side, Shelby pushed the tray table down the bed, toward his feet and came around it so she was by his side. She slid his blanket up to his belly, but left the sheet, until she grabbed it from under the top of the blanket and pulled it down to almost his knees, his belly covered in gooseflesh as she took the folded paper that had reminded Danny of a dentist’s bib and unfolded it, laying it across his exposed hips, feeding his dick through a hole in the center so that it rested on the paper. 

She opened a small bottle, and poured the contents into a plastic well, on the inside of the box she had unpacked the supplies from, picking up the little forceps and cotton balls, soaking them in the liquid, and that was all that Danny cared to watch, so he closed his eyes and turned his head away, opening them again to look at Steve when his lover reached forward to rub up his arm, trying to distract him, “it’s okay, baby, close your eyes and try to relax.”

Danny’s eyes drifted shut again as he felt her hand on his penis, picking it up and away from his body, saying, “you’re going to feel the surgical soap now, it’s a little cold.” 

The damp cotton ball slid along his crown and slit, wiping in a circular motion for a few seconds and then she said, “this is just some numbing medicine, you’re going to feel a little pressure,” and he opened his eyes again, looking down his body, thinking it would be better to watch the reality, then for his brain to conjure up some truly disturbing images. She held a smaller needleless syringe, sticking the open end into his slit and pushed down on the plunger.

He could feel a little pressure, but mostly it felt strange…cool and slimy and just…wrong.

Steve must have been watching his face, because he patted Danny’s arm, asking, “doing okay?”

“We’re going to give the Lidocaine a few minutes to work,” Shelby told them, fiddling with something on the tray table while Danny turned back to Steve.

“I’m doing okay,” he said, not liking the look on Steve’s face, knowing that as hard as this…newest complication had been on him, it had also been hard on Steve too.

Sometimes he forgot…

Steve was his rock, had been since they first…okay, maybe not the first day, but soon after they had met. 

Danny could depend on him, could lean on him…but sometimes Steve needed Danny to lean on too, so he turned his arm over, palming the back of Steve’s arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Their eyes met in understanding for a beat or two until Shelby said, “Okay,” and picked up his penis again, pulling it gently away from his body.

He decided he rather watch Steve instead, so he kept his attention on his lover’s face, on their joined arms and hands, only jumping a little as the nurse squeezed the end of his dick and told him, “you’re going to feel the tube now, just try to relax.”

The sensation was stranger then the numbing meds, but it didn’t hurt, so he relaxed as the tube slithered in. It met a little resistance a few seconds later, which made Danny feel like he needed to pee right then, but a little more pressure on the tube from the nurse saw it through, and a few seconds after that the pressure was gone.

He was left with the disconcerted feeling of fullness where fullness shouldn’t be, but he knew he would adjust. 

He barely paid attention to the tube up his nose now, so he knew that soon enough he could ignore the one in his bladder too.

The nurse worked efficiently, pulling the paper covering off him, tossing it onto the tray table, getting a few strips of surgical tape and loosely coiling the tube, attaching it to his leg so it wouldn’t get pinched or tangled if he wanted to shift positions in the bed. 

Soon his blanket and sheet were righted and the tray table moved away so the nurse could dispose of the remnants of her supplies. Once she had cleared it off, the table was pushed over him and adjusted. 

She sat the TV and call button control on the table, asking him, “how’s your pain, on a scale of one to ten?” she attached the new IV bag, replacing the spent one and started the new drip while he thought over her question.

His belly did feel a little…tender, not painful, not really. “It’s okay…I mean I feel okay right now, but I can tell the pain meds are wearing off.”

“So…we’ll call it a three,” she said, walking to a dry erase board, on the wall across from the foot of his bed, and circled the corresponding smiley face. 

She wrote her name up in a swirly, scrawled, script and then filled in Dr. Hoy’s name under physician. 

She wrote his room number and the last four digits for his in-room phone in the provided slots, then glanced back at the monitor to his left and wrote his blood pressure, 136/92 and the time, 6:38 A.M., but she left the space for expected discharge date empty.

She wrote Steve’s first name under family contact, looking Steve’s way, who had shifted his chair around so that he could see both Danny and the doorway and Steve said, “McGarrett, two r’s and two t’s,” and then he gave the nurse his phone number, which she wrote neatly on the board.

Shelby capped the dry erase marker and moved to the door, telling Danny, “It’s almost time for your next dose of pain medicine, but Dr. Hoy prescribed something that will help you rest…he won’t be in for a few hours yet, so I suggest you get some sleep…” she looked expectantly to him and then to Steve, who in turn looked at Danny, bringing Danny’s hand up to his lips, kissing his knuckles, clearly leaving the decision to him.

He thought about it for a second or two, but he was already so tired and thought that he could drop off on his own, plus the pain medicine already made him drowsy and he wanted to be alert, be present when Dr. Hoy did come to see him later in the morning, with the CT results and a plan for treatment, so he shook his head, saying, “I think I can sleep without aid, but if I can’t, I’ll press the call button.”

She nodded, backing out the door and pulled it almost all the way closed behind her. 

Steve stood then, adjusting his chair and leaning over him to give him a soft kiss on his forehead, moving down to his lips, pulling back just enough to tell him, “close your eyes and go to sleep, Danno…I’ll be here when you wake.”

Danny smiled, closing his eyes, never doubting that Steve’s words were anything but true and within minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

H50H50H50

Steve hated seeing Danny so helpless, so vulnerable, but at least he was resting pain free and had been for the last several hours. He had drifted off to sleep soon after being settled into his room and had only briefly stirred when the nurse came in a little later with his next dosage of pains medication. 

He glanced at his watch, seeing it was almost ten in the morning and still, no sign of Dr. Hoy, which he reasoned, may have been a good thing.

A few minutes later, he looked up expectantly when the door slowly swung opened, but instead of the doctor, Steve saw Kono stick her head in and glance around the room, eyes landing on Danny, laying so still in the bed. 

She pushed the door the rest of the way opened and came in, followed by Chin, who had a brown take out bag in one hand and a tray of coffees in his other.

Chin walked to the counter along the wall at the end of Danny’s bed, and sat down his supplies, as Kono took Steve’s seat, when he stood to move toward Chin.

Without saying a word, Chin handed him a coffee and dug into the bag and pulled out a wrapped sandwich. He leaned against the counter next to Chin, as Chin handed Kono her brew.

“I brought you a couple of BLT’s on wheat toast,” Chin told him, “figured that the smell would be subtle enough not to disturb Danny’s stomach.”

He looked toward Danny, but he hadn’t even so much as twitched when Kono and Chin had entered, and Steve was grateful for that.

He unwrapped the first BLT and nibbled on it, feeling a little guilty that Danny couldn’t and probably wouldn’t be eating any time soon, but his stomach rumbled, so he took a bigger bite and finished the first, reaching for the other.

Once the foil from his sandwiches were crumbled and tossed into the brown bag, and he had taken a few slips of his coffee, the keys to his truck were laid beside the bag and Chin told him, “we went by the house, cleaned up the bedroom so it’ll be ready when Danny gets out of here and home.”

He thought back to the mess he had left in his hurry to follow Danny to the ambulance, the vomit on the bed clothes and towel, in the basin… “you guys didn’t need to do that.”

“We know,” Kono spoke softly, sitting back a little in the chair, sipping at her coffee. “But that’s what family does for each other…beside…Chin did most of the heavy lifting.”

Steve noted her blanch and little shudder, but he couldn’t call her on it after they both took the time to help. 

When he looked back to Chin, the man just shrugged, saying, “I’ve been getting in plenty of practice, what with Malia’s morning…afternoon and evening…sickness…you should have seen it the other night, we had spaghetti…”

Now it was Steve’s turn to blanch…he could take Danny puke and probably even Gracie puke, but he didn’t want to think about Malia hurling everything she ate the whole day long, nope…

“Can we just not…” Danny whispered from the bed.

All three heads whipped around to look at Danny, who had his eyes at half mast, but he was trying to blink them open. 

Kono, being the closest, reached between the raised rails and grabbed up Danny’s hand, giving him a little pat, saying, “sorry brah…we didn’t want to wake you…”

“S’kay,” Danny used his other hand to rub at his eyes, clearly still tired, but more awake now, shifting stiffly on the thin mattress, trying to roll a little to his side.

Steve moved to the bed, pulling at the blanket at Danny’s side and helped him shift over so that he was facing Kono in the chair. He kept his hand on Danny’s hip, under the blanket and rubbed, using his fingers to work out some kinks, “are you hurting, Danno?” a quick glance at the clock told him it was still another hour or so until Danny’s next dose of pain medication.

“No…” 

He watched as Danny pulled the blanket up to his chin, snuggling into the pillow, his eyes getting droopy again, but he blinked them open, trying to stay in the waking world while he had guests.

“What time is it,” Danny asked through a yawn, shifting over to his back again and picking up the controller to the bed, raising the head several degrees.

Chin nodded toward the clock that hung over the dry erase board, saying, “About half past ten and we should probably get going,” but before the rest of the team could move, the door swung opened again, and in came Dr. Hoy and the nurse, Shelby. 

The doctor took in the familiar faces and went to the bed, asking Danny, “How are you feeling this morning?”

Danny exchanged some pleasantries, answered some questions and watched as the doctor checked some of the reading on the surrounding machines while Steve tried desperately to get a read on the man.

Kono scooted her chair back as the doctor moved toward Danny on her side of the bed, but Steve kept his post on the other, moving his hand to Danny’s shoulder, watching as Dr. Hoy gently folded back the blankets, grabbing the stethoscope from around his neck and sticking the pronged ends into his ears. He pressed it firmly around Danny’s belly, listening, then lifted his gown up to pull back the bandage that covered Danny’s stoma, but he only glanced at it and then pressed the gauze back down, righting the gown and tossing the scope back around his neck.

The doctor took a deep breath, and Steve thought, ‘here we go,’ just knowing that the news wasn’t going to be good.

“I’ve reviewed the CT results and I’m sorry to say that the blockage is complete, and with the lack of output, it was what we had expected.” 

Steve waited for the doctor to continue, because he knew that even with a complete blockage, if it were an impaction, the chances of not having to have surgery were still good.

“It looks like some scar tissue…”

Steve felt numb, but he patted Danny’s shoulder, feeling the slight tremors starting up, feeling his own knees go weak, but he locked them, leaning forward a little at the waist, determined to be strong through the doctor’s plan of action.

He could lose it in the bathroom later.

He glanced quickly at Kono, who seemed to be wiping at her eyes and then at Chin, who looked just as calm and reassuring as he always did and then he glanced down at Danny’s face and his knees almost buckled.

Danny’s eyes were closed tight, his mouth a thin line and his whole countenance just radiated sadness, but he was nodding his head in understanding and Steve wondered again just how much of Dr. Choi’s visit he had remembered.

“So,” Dr. Hoy finished, “we are going to continue with the round of antibiotics and pain management and the bowel decompression…”

Steve shook his head, knowing that he had missed something important, but when he looked to Danny, he only saw wide, red rimmed eyes, pale skin and dry lips.

“…if we get a partial opening within the next few days, from the food impaction, we can put off surgery for the adhesions…but you would have to follow a strict diet and be sure that you chew your food very thoroughly or you’ll be right back here with another blockage in the future.”

Danny nodded, briefly shifting his eyes to Steve before focusing on the doctor, asking, “so, if it’s some…narrowing of the bowel, caused by scar tissue, what happens if the impaction doesn’t open…this time or the next, if it were to happen again?”

Dr. Hoy, sighed, but answered, “we would have to go in and open the bowel, possibly we could do it laparoscopic, but the hope is that we can get a good outcome now and plan to remove the adhesions during your reversal, so you would only need one surgical procedure.

We would line the insides of your intestines with a special substance made to help keep scar tissue from growing, so that there will be less of a chance of blockage after reversal, that is if you want the reversal…if not, we would still need to take care of the adhesions.”

Steve didn’t like the paler of Danny’s skin or the deep frown on his face as his lover worked out that he would more than likely be in for at least one more surgery and maybe even two.

Steve watched as Danny glanced around the room at his family and then thanked Dr. Hoy, asking, “Can I…can I get something to help me sleep…I just want to go back to sleep?”

Danny’s voice trembled as he asked and Steve hated it…

_Fuck Davis and the fucking bullet that was meant for him!_

H50H50H50


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “One step at a time, right? That’s all we can do…”

H50H50H50

Steve watched as the nurse used the port on Danny’s IV to inject the meds that would help Danny relax and sleep. This was the second time that Danny had opted for the sleep aid and Steve just didn’t know what to do with that.

The latest news wasn’t great, that was true, but…it was so unlike Danny to just roll over and give in…to give up!

Shelby tossed the used needle into the sharps bin mounted on the wall, and then lifted Danny’s blanket, carefully peeling back the bandage that covered Danny’s stoma. 

Steve could just barely see it from his chair beside Danny’s bed. To him, it didn’t look as swollen and the skin that he could see around it wasn’t so angry and red.

She quickly smeared some of the antibiotic cream around the outer edge, and got a new gauze to cover it. She pulled the covers back up, giving Danny a small grin and said, “it’s looking better and that’s a good sign.”

Danny just nodded, his eyes droopy and a small frown on his face and Steve just wanted him to at least give a verbal response, because he missed hearing Danny’s voice, for the last several hours, all he had to listen to were the noises the machines made and feet moving along the hall beyond the closed door and the mostly muted canned laughter currently coming from the TV across from Danny’s bed…he didn’t remember who had turned the set on, but he was grateful, because at least he could watch it from time to time, give his mind over to the case of the week, or try to guess the price of a prize or get lost in the plot of whatever movie was playing…take a small break from his own reality, because sitting here with Danny, holding his hand and feeling...fear and sadness radiate from the man he loved so much was…well, it sucked…

Why had this happened?

_Why did this shit always happen to Danny and to him?_

“Steve?”

He jumped at the sound of Danny’s raspy, groggy voice, turning from the TV, glancing around the room to see that they were alone and he wondered how much time had passed since he had apparently checked out.

He ran his free hand through his hair and turned to Danny, giving the hand he was still holding a little squeeze, asking, “are you okay, sweetheart? What can I get for you?”

“I ah…” Danny ran his tongue over dry lips and Steve stood, reaching into his pants pocket to pull out the tube of chap stick he had stashed there, popping the top off and twisting the stuff up, leaning over to run the medicated balm over Danny’s mouth. 

“Is the inside of your mouth dry, baby?”

Danny nodded, so Steve reached behind him to the bed side table and found the little cup Shelby had brought in hours ago, taking off the lid, he pulled one of the moist swabs out and leaned back over Danny, telling him to, “open up.”

Danny opened his mouth and allowed Steve to rub the swab around the inside of his cheeks and over his tongue, Steve left the swab in Danny’s mouth so he could suck some of the moisture from the lemon coated cotton and then when Danny pulled it away, he tossed it in the trash, reaching for another, repeating the whole routine.

“Need another,” he asked, taking the spent swab and tossing it with the others in the trash.

Danny shook his head, so Steve sat back down, hoping to engage his partner in some conversation, something not related to his current situation…he thought about bringing up Grace, but then Danny would only worry that he wouldn’t be out of the hospital by the end of the week, to take custody of his daughter for his week and weekend, which reminded him that he needed to make some phone calls. 

He thought about bringing up the holidays, wanting to know what Danny would want to do for Halloween and Thanksgiving and if he wanted to start planning for their trip to Jersey for Christmas, but then the future was still so up in the air. Danny might not even be recovered enough to travel, so he settled on, “want to call your folks now...fill them in…” because talking to his ma and pop might go a long way toward helping Danny feel better.

Danny shifted a little, drawing his hand from Steve’s, using his other to pull on the rail so that he was now laying on his side facing him.

His partner looked as if he were thinking about calling Mel and Jim, but Danny’s eyes darted to the clock on the far wall and he seemed to had been trying to do the time difference calculations in his head, so Steve said, “it’s about ten at night there, babe…your folks will still be up…you won’t be disturbing them, plus you told your mom you would call her back today.”

“Yeah…o’kay.” 

Danny went to shift again, grimacing, but Steve put his hand on the nearest shoulder. “Stay there for a while, Danno…let me rub your back while you talk to your folks.” 

He pulled Danny’s phone, delivered by Kono when she dropped by to bring him dinner, from his shirt pocket and handed it to Danny.

Then he went around to the other side of the bed. 

He toed off his sneakers and lowered the rail, sliding in behind Danny on top of the covers, propped his head in one hand and gently pulled the blanket and sheet up with the other, just enough to get his palm on Danny’s bare hip. 

He dug in with his fingers, knowing how much pressure Danny enjoyed, but still asked, “this okay,” letting his hand slide up to smooth over Danny’s broad back and then over to his shoulder, squeezing there and then dragging his fingered back down to massage his sore hip.

Danny shivered, head to toe, giving Steve his answer, but he told him, “that’s more than okay.”

Steve leaned forward, pressing his smiling face against Danny’s shoulder, kissing him there, feeling useful for the first time since this whole thing had started.

Danny turned to look at him, eyes red rimmed, but something about them had changed, a little spark that had gone away hours before was back. “Thanks, babe…thanks for staying with me…putting up with…all this.”

Steve could read the insecurity on Danny’s face, so he leaned up a bit and kissed his dry lips, running his tongue along the bottom, lending some of his own moisture, whispering, “no other place I’d rather be, Danno.” 

Danny laughed a little, shaking his head, saying, “I can think of a hundred places I’d rather be,” his hand going up to indicate the room, “but you’re here, so…”

He nuzzled the back of Danny’s neck, running his hand down and over and around Danny’s perfect ass, using his thumb to press against the muscles at the small of his back, and where his hips met the firm flesh, knowing how much Danny loved what he was doing. It wasn’t sexual…at least not this time and it was never a bother to touch Danny anywhere he liked to be touched. After a few minutes, he said, “make your call, D…before you fall back to sleep.”

Danny picked up the forgotten phone from beside him and pressed speed dial three. 

His mom must have picked up immediately, because Danny was saying, “hi, mom,” the call connecting within seconds of pressing the button.

He listened as Danny told her to not worry, but that he was back in the hospital, that he had a blockage, that he might need more surgery.

He pressed kisses along Danny’s neck and dug his fingers into one shoulder blade as Danny’s body tensed and he could hear Mel’s frantic voice through the open line, asking question after question, not letting Danny get a word in and then Danny said, “dad…yes…I’m okay…Steve’s with me…yes, okay…” Danny passed the phone back to him, saying, “pop wants to talk to you.” 

He took the phone, shifting Danny to lean against his chest and asked, “Jim?”

_“Hey Steve…I can’t get anything out of Mel, she’s so upset and I didn’t want to have Danny explain it again…should we come?”_

Steve sighed, not sure how to answer. He was sure that Danny would love for his parents to come and be with him, but he also knew that it would a financial strain on them, so he was thinking about offering to pay for the trip, when Danny craned his neck to look at him and said, “tell them it will be okay, Steve. That if everything goes okay, we will be visiting at Christmas.”

He nodded, kissing Danny’s nose, watching him scrunch it up and bring up a hand to wipe at the wetness there, careful of the tape and tube, calling him, “sap,” before he returned his attention back to Jim.

“Dr. Hoy said it’s a setback, but it’s was caught early, so…”

_“So, it’s not an emergency?”_

Steve wouldn’t go that far, what was happening could technically have killed Danny, but they got to the hospital early on and Danny had been treated right away and now they would just have to wait a day or two to see what the next steps would be, but he didn’t need to burden Danny’s parents with that information, so he just said, “they seem optimistic. Danny might need more surgery, but the scar tissue isn’t too bad and the impaction might pass on its own.”

Jim was silent for a bit, and Steve wasn’t so sure his explanation had been a comfort to the man or not…but he finally said, _“okay…you’ll keep us updated?”_

“Of course, we should know tomorrow or the next day if they will need to go back in and remove the blockage, but even if that is the case, Dr. Hoy is hopeful they can go in laparoscopically, so the recovery time would only be a week or so…” 

Steve heard Mel sniffling, realizing that Jim must have had the phone on speaker, so he pulled his cell away from his ear and tapped the display until his end was on speaker too and said, “And if it’s just a week or two of recovery, we should be able to make Christmas…”

Mel jumped into the conversation then, turning the topic away from Danny’s current situation and to plans of travel and Christmas traditions and Steve handed Danny the phone back, even though it was still on speaker.

He sunk down on the bed, pillowing his head on his bent arm, using his other hand to smooth over Danny’s side, his hip, his thigh, just listening to his family make plans.

Mel wanted them for two weeks, which shouldn’t be that much of a problem since Danny would probably still be on medical leave and he could use his stock pile of vacation days.

Ideas were tossed around, but Danny and Rachel usually shared Grace over Christmas, so maybe they could come the week after Christmas with Grace and then could stay until after the new year and Rachel could either fly in to get Grace or Grace could fly back on her own, which he could tell, Danny wasn’t a fan of, but it was just speculation for now, so no harm in bouncing ideas around.

“I’m hoping to be well enough that Steve and I can take her to Aloun Farms…I found a real pumpkin farm ma, apple cider, scare crow stuffing, hay rides, the whole deal…”

This was the first that Steve had heard of this plan, but he was on board, so he nodded his head against Danny’s shoulder, loving the liveliness of his lover’s voice as he told his mother his holiday plans.

“…and we already have a bit of a thanksgiving tradition…our whole ohana plays a game or two of flag football, maybe do some surfing, watch the parade and football all afternoon and then dinner at Ste…our house.”

Steve nodded again, because what Danny said was accurate, especially the part about Steve’s house now being their home.

Mel and Jim chatted for a few more minutes with a promise from Danny to call them back at a more reasonable hour with updates on his health and the travel plans and by the time Danny hung up, Steve could tell he wasn’t feeling so scared and sad anymore.

Danny had a plan and Danny with a plan was a force to reckon with.

H50H50H50

Wednesday morning rolled around and still Danny hadn’t passed any of the impaction. While the NG tube had long ago removed any waste in Danny’s stomach, it now only churned out bile and secretions and there was no activity at his ostomy either. 

The evening before, Dr. Hoy had told him that if there were no progress by mid-morning, he would be scheduled for the procedure in the afternoon.

Danny glanced at the clock to see that it was still early morning, not even seven yet and Steve wouldn’t be by until closer to eight, so he settled down within his covers and tried to calm his nerves.

It wasn’t the outcome he had wanted, but if his body had managed to work the impaction out, he would have had to be on a very restrictive diet until he had healed enough to have the reversal or he would have to go ahead and have the surgery to remove the scar tissue anyway, so one way or another, he would be right back in the same spot, so maybe this would be for the best, even if he had hoped to avoid it.

The timing sucked…if he had to have the surgery now, he might miss Halloween with his kids and could even be sidelined for Thanksgiving, but should be healed enough to travel to Jersey to spend time with his family…his whole family, because Steve would be there and he would figure out a way for Grace to be there too and if things went as well as Dr. Hoy had hoped, he wouldn’t miss any of the upcoming holidays and he would be able to take his time and decide if he really wanted to go through with the ordeal of the extensive reversal surgery and all it’s possible complications and recovery time.

He shifted on the bed, still feeling stiff and sore, but thankful that his meds kept the worst of the pain away. 

His mind drifted to the upcoming weekend and the likelihood of not being about to care for Grace during his week with her. Maybe Rachel would agree to take his week in exchange for hers…there would be a big gap of time he would miss with his baby, but at least that way, they could get back into a normal schedule.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts, that he didn’t hear his door being pushed open or light footsteps along the floor, hadn’t notice he wasn’t alone until someone cleared their voice from the chair next to his bed, making him startle and jump.

Light laughter filled the room as Kono said, “you looked a million miles away. What are you thinking so hard about?”

He pushed up the bed a little, using his feet, pounding at the pillows behind his head, trying to get more comfortable, but eventually answered, “just thinking about my custody schedule with Grace and how to get it back on track.”

She leaned forward, putting a hand on his arm and squeezing, asking, “why does it have to get off track?”

He could see she was serious and he had just assumed that Steve had filled his team in on his condition, but maybe he hadn’t, so he started to tell her about the likelihood of either still being in the hospital or maybe just getting home from it while he would have had Grace, but she started to talk again before he could get his explanation out.

“You can count on us, Danny…we’re Gracie’s family too...we can take turns picking her up from school and staying with her until Steve gets off to take over or until you are feeling up to more than just lazing around in bed,” the last bit was said with a smirk, far too reminiscent of Steve’s, with just a hint of mischief in her eyes, also far too much like Steve, but he relaxed against the pillows, nodding his head.

He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought that Steve could work things out when it came to his precious daughter…sometimes he forgot that he wasn’t alone with raising her…that he had family here too that would be so willing to help in any way they could.

Grace was comfortable with Steve, trusted him as much as she trusted her Danno and he knew he could trust Steve to take care of her when he couldn’t.

Finally, he said, “I’m sorry…I guess I just…”

She squeezed his arm again, saying, “no worries, brah…I know you were used to doing things on your own, but now…you don’t have too, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, falling into a comfortable silence.

Kono picked up the magazine Steve had left the night before, settling in like she had nowhere else to be and Danny clicked on the TV and set the volume to low, surfing channels until he settled on some talk show.

From time to time they would both comment on the TV program or she would read him part of an article she found amusing.

Later in the morning, Steve found them both dozing, Kono in her chair and Danny in his raised bed, his chin resting on his chest.

Steve’s soft kiss to the top of his head woke him gently and he lifted it to see his partner smiling down at him, extending his chin toward the chair and a sleeping Kono, whose own head was bent at an odd angle, the magazine slipping from her fingers and heading toward the floor.

Steve grabbed it before it could hit, waking her up in the process. She looked bleary eyed around the room, rubbing at her nose, then smiling up at both, saying, “must have been the company.”

“Haha, the company, she says…” Danny frowned at her, but she giggled and stood, patting his arm and leaning over to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“See you later…Chin and I will be back this afternoon…”

She left the rest unsaid, but Danny understood her meaning, his team would be stopping by before and hopefully would be waiting with Steve while he was in surgery. 

She glanced at her watch and then moved toward the door, turning to say, “I guess I’ll cancel our reservations at the Hilton on Friday…maybe next week?”

Steve walked closer to her, telling her, “maybe you all can just come to mine and Danny’s…I can cook out, and you all can swim and surf…let’s see how it goes.”

“Sure thing, boss…” she slipped out the door, pulling it mostly closed behind her as Steve headed back to the bed, leaning over to give him a more meaningful kiss than the one before.

“How are you feeling today, sweetheart?”

Danny yawned, still feeling the pull of his latest dose of pain meds, but told Steve, “okay…all things considering…don’t you have a serial killer to catch, or something…not that I don’t enjoy the company, but there isn’t much here for you to do but watch me sleep…and that, my friend, is still creepy.”

Steve sunk into the chair Kono had just vacated, saying, “it’s only two bodies, Danny…not serial yet and besides, being the boss has its perks…I took the day off…the rest of the team can handle things...plus it’s not creepy…it’s endearing.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” but there was no heat behind the words. Steve had gone into the office over the last several days for a few hours, putting in face time, but Danny was glad he would be with him the whole day and whatever that may bring.

He was nervous about what the day may…would most likely bring and he was grateful that Steve would be there with him.

He tried to shift to his side, so he could see Steve better, but little pins and needles stuck him in his lower back and both of his hips ached. He thought it strange that the meds they gave him could take care of all his pain but these tiny spasms and discomforts.

Apparently, Steve was very in tune with Danny today, because he rose from the chair and walked around him. Danny heard Steve’s shoes hitting the floor and the rail being lowered, felt the dip of the bed as Steve laid down beside him, helping him to ease over the rest of the way and then cool air met his skin as Steve lifted the blanket and massaged his hip, his lower back, his lover’s fingers lingering around the little grouping of pocked scars there. 

Danny didn’t want to think about them, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “they’re cigarette burns.”

Steve stilled for a few seconds and Danny worried that he should have just kept his mouth shut, but the warm hand on his skin started to move in soothing circles and Steve breathed out a whispered, “I know, baby.”

Danny relaxed against Steve, not feeling the need to expound on the subject, not feeling like Steve wanted to know more about how they got there, at least not right now.

He didn’t know how long they lay together in his hospital bed, but Danny had drifted in and out of sleep while Steve kept up the gentle touches and soft kneading of every muscle he could reach.

Danny felt boneless when the nurse came in later to check on him. She didn’t say a word about Steve being in bed with him, just smiled and went about looking at his tubes and collection bags, the machines around his bed, before stepping out.

Hours later, when Dr. Hoy came in, Steve shook him gently to wake him, still on the bed, but at least sitting up, his leg resting along Danny’s back. “Dr. Hoy is here, baby…can you wake up?’

Danny cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes, trying to right himself in the bed, but in the end, Steve pushed him back by the shoulder and took the controller to raise the head of the bed a little and muted the TV.

He saw the doctor lift an eye brow at Steve, but the man didn’t comment so Danny cleared his dry throat again, asking, “so, what’s the plan?”

Steve slipped from the bed and got Danny a mouth swab, so he took it, sucking on the dampness, waiting for Dr. Hoy to answer.

“We’re going to take you back into surgery in about an hour or so.”

He could feel his heart pounding, but he tried to take a steadying breath to calm down.

Steve squeezed his shoulder as Dr. Hoy went on, “we are going to start out Laparoscopic, so under general anesthesia, we will only make a few incisions in the skin, each about an inch long to accommodate the surgical instruments and your belly will be filled with gas so we have room to work. 

A thin tube with a camera will be inserted first and once we visualize the blockage, other instruments will go in the other incisions. We hope to be able to remove the impaction, clear the scar tissue and line the intestine with the substance that will hinder regrowth. 

If the bowel is unable to be cleared or if the tissue isn’t healthy enough, we will do a resection, cutting out the bad tissue and attaching the two ends of healthy bowel together, much like the reversal surgery we have discussed. 

It’s possible to do the resection with Laparoscopy, but sometimes we need a more open field and if that is the case, we may have to open you back up. 

The incision would be about six to eight inches and your stay and recovery time will be extended. I know it’s not that you wanted to hear, but I am very optimistic about your chances with Laparo. If all goes according to plan, I think we will have you fixed up and out of here in a few days.”

Danny took the swab out of his mouth and handed it to Steve, asking, “If all doesn’t go according to plan,” _And really, when did that ever happen for him,_ “what’s my recovery time and how will this affect my chances at reversal?”

“Well, that depends on several factors, but instead of a few days with us and about a week or so to heal, we would be talking about being here a week or more and a few months to feel a little more normal. 

As for the reversal, it would depend on how well and how fast you heal. We might still be on track for the New Year or it might be more like summer or it might not be an option at all.”

Danny knew this already, but he just had a need to clarify that the whole situation pretty much sucked, but he had told himself and Steve that he would try to be more optimistic, so he nodded his head and said, “okay.”

“Okay?” Dr. Hoy asked and he could tell by Steve’s face that he had similar thoughts, but Danny just nodded again. 

“Okay,” the doctor said again, “if you don’t have any more questions we’ll get you started on the pre-op meds to help you relax and someone will be in to take you up in a bit. Steve can stay with you in the pre-op room until it’s time to go into surgery, and then he and your family can wait in the surgical waiting room, okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” Danny said, watching as the doctor excused himself and Steve pulled out his phone and tapped into his key board, presumably a text to his family so that they would know to come to the hospital.

Steve pocketed his phone and asked, “you okay, baby?” 

Surprisingly, he was…a bit scared, sure, but Steve slid back onto the bed and leaned into him, pulling Danny to rest his head on Steve’s chest.

“Yeah.”

The soft and gentle heartbeat under his ear calmed him as he waited and soon a nurse came in and injected his IV with something Dr. Hoy had prescribed. 

He could feel his muscles relax and his body sink down into the mattress under him and his eyes were heavy, but his door opened and Chin and Kono came in, walking up to the bed, each leaning over to pat his back, whispering words of love and assurance and Kono kissed him on the forehead before plopping down into the chair by his bed. 

Chin leaned on the counter along the far wall and conversation swirled around him, but he was too tired to participate, his eyes were closed until he heard a sweet voice calling his name.

He opened them, blinking the sleep away, trying to focus on his baby as she sat on Steve, perched in his lap. He saw that Rachel hovered near the door and he couldn’t figure out what Grace was doing there…she should still be in school.

His muddled mind remembered speaking with his ex-wife, telling her about the possibility of another surgery and of course he spoke with Grace every day, but that still didn’t explain why Grace was here, why they both were here…he shifted up to look at Steve, who just shrugged and said, “your family should be here with you, Danno.”

“Yeah, Danno,” Grace agreed, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, squirming until she was on the bed next to him, resting her head high on his belly, nudging Steve out of the way.

Steve didn’t seem to mind, he stood, running his fingers through Danny’s hair before moving away toward the door and Rachel.

Danny heard him say that Kono would drop Grace off at the end of the next weekend and thanked her for allowing Grace to start her week with Danny a little early.

Rachel said something back, but Danny was finding it harder and harder to keep up with the hushed conversation around him, harder to just keep his eyes opened.

Warm lips pressed into Danny’s other cheek and his ex-wife told him, “get better soon, Daniel…”

He peeled open his eyes to look at her, noting the small fond smile, so he did his best to return it. She ran her hand through his hair and said, “Grace will call me with updates, but if you need anything, you or Steve, I can help out…dinners or I can take Grace the few hours after school until Steve gets home…just let me know.”

He nodded, grabbing her hand as she started to pull away, “I will…thank you, Rach.”

“You’re welcome Danny,” Rachel stopped to kiss their daughter, nodding her good-byes as she went to the door. Steve took up her place, his hand going to join Danny’s on Grace’s back. 

Danny was a little overwhelmed, both by Rachel’s generosity and acceptance and Steve’s forward thinking and planning. 

After Rachel left, time seemed to move quickly. 

Within minutes, the nurse and an orderly appeared, pushing in a gurney and Chin and Kono stood, Grace sat up and Steve helped her to the ground. 

They all stood back as he was lifted and transferred to the rolling bed and all his paraphernalia was attached to poles or dangled from the bed or placed between his parted legs and then his family descended on him. 

Chin picked up Grace who leaned over to kiss him and said, “I’ll be waiting with Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono, we’re going to get lunch and shaved ice and bring back something for Uncle Steve,” her face turned serious as she said, “I’ll be here when you wake up…I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, Monkey…be a good girl, okay?” 

She rolled her eyes, reminding Danny that she wasn’t such a little girl anymore and that the teenaged years were looming just around the corner, but she pecked his lips five more times and told him, “I’m always good.” 

Chin laughed, putting her down so he could lean over the bed rail and tell Danny, “we got her, brah…don’t worry about a thing.” Danny nodded, taking the hand Chin held out, “you just work on getting better and out of here.”

When Chin stepped back, Kono took his place, but she leaned over and kissed his cheek, “told you we got you covered…we’ll see you on the other side.”

Steve took Kono’s place, but he didn’t say anything to Danny, just took his hand and walked next to him as the gurney was maneuvered from the room and down the hall.

Chin, Kono and Grace walked behind and when they got to an elevator, his little girl waved, back up and in Chin’s arms, her eyes a little red rimed, but she put on a brave face as the doors parted and he was rolled into the elevator car.

He found that his own eyes were a little watery, but Steve leaned over him, saying, “she’s going to alright and so are you, sweetheart.”

He nodded, feeling a tear leak down his cheek and into his hair, but Steve was looking toward the doors as they parted once again and he was pulled from the car, rolled down another cold hall and through a set of doors that needed a key card to access. 

At the end, a little curtained off room waited for him and the gurney was turned, he was pushed in and all the IV’s and collection bags and pumps were placed in their rightful spots.

The new nurse said, “I’m Nicole…I’ll be looking after you today…it won’t be long now…”

Danny swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and asked, “But Steve can stay, right?”

She nodded as she hooked him back up to the monitoring machines, “yes until they come to get you and once you are settled in recovery I’ll go get him for you, okay…now just try to relax...it’ll be over and you will be back here before you know it.”

He hoped that was true.

When she left, Steve pulled the chair in the corner over, facing it toward Danny. He took Danny’s hand and then moved it up farther to squeeze his forearm, allowing Danny to turn his palm and grab Steve’s forearm too.

He wanted to tell Steve how much he loved him again, wanted to tell him he was sorry, that he was scared, but Steve started to rub tiny circles into his skin, used his blunt nails to scratch at the fuzzy hair of Danny’s arm and said, “I know, baby…it’s going to be okay…I love you, too.

Danny jumped a little when the curtain at the end of the bed was pulled opened, but Steve stood and asked, “can you just give us a minute, please.”

Whoever was there backed out and Steve lowered the rail, perching on the side of the gurney, using both hands to pull Danny up and into a tight hug. 

He kissed the side of his neck and chin, along his cheek, saying, “I love you so much, Danno…I know you’re a little scared, but it’s going to be okay…I can feel it…you’re going to come through this and be home in a few days and then we will plan for…well, everything, okay. You and me and Gracie.”

Danny held on tighter, burying his face into Steve’s chest, trying to control the swirl of emotions coursing through him, but nodded his head, because he had to believe what Steve had said was true.

Even if he didn’t have the outcome he was hoping for, if things didn’t go as planned, he still had Steve and Grace…his ohana…”yeah,” he whispered into Steve’s chest. “Yeah,” he said again, pushing away just enough to kiss Steve softly on the lips, pulling away when someone stepped into the small room. “One step at a time, right? That’s all we can do…”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, “One step at a time and I’ll be with you all the way.”

H50H50H50


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve murmured against his lips, “best step I ever took, sweetheart.”

H50H50H50

Steve walked with him, beside the gurney as he was rolled down yet another hall and through a few more sets of double doors. 

The team that was taking him into the surgery ward let Steve lean over and give him a final kiss before he was pushed ahead and forced to let go of his life line.

Danny shuddered when at last Steve’s hand was pulled from his. 

He could hear one of them telling Steve that the waiting room was just down the hall and that someone would be coming out periodically with updates, but that hopefully the whole procedure wouldn’t be more than a few hours.

He lost sight of that person and everyone else as the gurney was turned and someone maneuvered him through one last door and into the cold and sterile operation room.

Soon enough someone else joined the man still at the head of the gurney and between the two of them, they got Danny onto the narrow table and he shivered, chilled to the bone, because of the cool air, but also because he was scared, really, really scared and the meds that he had been given a while ago to help calm him did nothing to stop the shaking of his body or the trembling of his lips.

A green sheet descended over him as more people came into view, all in green gowns, gloves and face masks. 

Someone pulled one arm away from his body, the one with his IV’s, securing it to an extension board from the table with the attached restraints. Another took his other arm and wrapped it in a blood pressure cuff, Danny could feel the band tightening and his heart quicken as he fought the feeling of being confined and in a tight space, with the walls closing in.

A man appeared above his head, calling his name. He had to look up and back to see him as he fitted an oxygen mask over Danny’s face and told him to, “relax...”

Danny didn’t think that that would be happening, but the blast of pure oxygen helped him breathe deeper, calming his frazzled nerves, his racing heart and his claustrophobic feelings started to subside.

Once the mask was in place, the man above put one hand on each side of Danny’s neck, holding his head in place, stopping him from looking at anything but the bright overhead lights and aging ceiling tiles.

He could still feel hands on his body though, the probes on his chest pulling and a slight yank of the tube in his nose as the machinery around him were attached to him and started to record his vitals. 

Goose flesh raised across his stomach when the sheet covering him had been pulled back low to his hips and something with a rougher, paper like texture took its place.

The masked people around him chatted, mundane topics like sports and the latest episode of Iron Chef and then soft music filled the room, someone fiddled with the stations, settling on the easy listening channel before turning the volume down and Danny could hear Taylor Swift sing about some lost love along with the beeps and whirls of the machines surrounding him.

He felt something warm spread up the veins in his arm and then through his chest and soon the trembling had stopped, that he couldn’t move even if he wanted too, but the thought of immobility hadn’t frightened him as it should.

He must have closed his eyes, because at some point Dr. Hoy gently spoke to him, tapping his fingers along Danny’s chest, asking, “how are you feeling Danny?”

His breath fogged the oxygen mask when he huffed out, “warm…tired.”

“That’s good,” Dr. Hoy assured, “Dr. Hines already gave you something to help you relax and he is going to be putting a mask over your nose to help you go to sleep. Once you are, he will put in the breathing tube to secure your airway and then we will get started.

I have studied your scans again and I think we are in good shape. The whole thing should be over in a few hours, but for now, I want you to breathe deep and count backwards from twenty.”

Danny slowly nodded, seeing the oxygen mask move away and a bigger mask coming down the cover his nose and mouth. 

He briefly panicked with the thought of the breathing tube, held his breath and tried to squirm, but the anesthesiologist looking down from above his head said, “twenty.” 

Danny breathed in, repeating, “twenty…nineteen…eight…”

He drifted.

At some point, he came back to himself. 

He understood that his eyes were closed, and he tried to open them, could feel them fluttering behind his lids.

His ears felt hyper sensitive, filled with the noises around him, people talking, a steady whoosh of air off to his left, and a firm beep, beep, beep of something mechanical to his right.

He felt a fullness in his throat, something ridged and stiff protruding from his mouth.

Something wasn’t right.

His chest ached with the furious pace of his heart and the increasing beats thumped loudly in his ears, overshadowing all other noises.

He couldn’t remember what had happened, why he…

“It’s okay, Danny, you’re okay…everything is fine. Everything went well.”

He’s right eye was pried opened and he squinted into a bright light that was shined in. 

He wanted to close it, but found he couldn’t move or even look away and then his lid was dropped and the light moved to the other eye and the process repeated.

The masked man looked familiar, but Danny found that once his eye lid was dropped, he couldn’t open them again on his own accord, so he listened as best he could, tuning out the machines, trying to hear that voice again.

After a second or two, he felt cool air brush his skin and his stomach heaved with the movement. 

He knew he was being lifted and placed back down. 

Even with his eyes closed, he could tell his world was spinning, but thankfully the trip to recovery was short and the bed he was laying on came to a bumpy rest a minute or two later.

“Danny,” someone new said. “Just rest, okay? Everything went well…they just stopped the anesthesia and the next time you wake up the tube will be…”

This time when Danny had found himself, he could open his eyes, but he managed to only blink at the bright overhead lights in the little curtained off cubicle he was in.

After getting used to the brightness, he let his eyes drift around the room.

Near the foot of his bed, a nurse…

Nicole?

…sat on a rolling stool in front of a computer, which she happily typed into, not noticing that he was awake yet.

His mouth was dry and his throat hurt…felt a little raw, so he licked his lips and took stock.

His belly felt…distended…bloated, but he didn’t feel any pain.

He needed to clear his throat, but when he tried, burning bile raced up with the inadequate saliva and he slammed his eyes shut, trying to ride out the discomfort and nausea.

He remembered the tube in his nose, thankful that at least he wouldn’t be puking, hoping the sick feeling would go away just as quickly as it had come.

He felt a small hand on his arm and for the first time, he noticed the sounds of machines around him, quiet talking from the hallway beyond the curtain and his own harsh breathing.

“Just take some little breaths until you feel up to breathing deeper and relax…everything is okay…you’re doing great.”

He nodded his head, panting through the dwindling ache of his throat, managing to peel open his eyes once again and look around the little room.

The nurse fiddled with something off to his right, but she spoke to him asking, “Are you in any pain besides the sore throat? How’s your tummy feel?”

Danny shook his head, not knowing if he could work up enough spit to answer her.

When she was done doing what she was doing, she turned to him, patting his arm again, rousing him a little, asking, “no pain?”

He shook his head, watching as she went back to the computer, tapping on the key board again.

After a minute or two she moved back over to him to tell him, “you’ve been with me for almost two hours…you came around a few times, but this is the most lucid you’ve been, so the meds are wearing off like they should.”

He arched an eyebrow at her and she patted his hand once more, saying, “I know you don’t remember, but everything is just fine. Your family has been taking turns…”

He struggled to swallow and then managed to whisper, “Steve?”

“Yes, he’s been in a few times and your friends brought your daughter in once. They can only stay ten or so minutes every hour, but you will be back into your own room soon and you can have as many visitors as you like then.”

He weakly raised his hand and grabbed the rail, asking again, “Ste..ve?”

She glanced at her watch and then looked at him a beat or two and then told him, “okay…close enough…try to stay awake while I go get him.”

He licked his dry lips and said, “’kay.”

But his eyes drifted shut on their own and sometime later, he felt warm hands on his cheeks, fingers pushing through his disheveled hair and a soft press of lips to his mouth.

He blinked open his eyes to see Steve standing over him, reaching forward again to brush fingers through his hair, scratch at his scalp, saying, “hey, Danno...how ya feeling?”

Danny wiggled a bit, because since the last time he had opened his eyes and had felt blissfully numb, tiny little knives had decided to prick his insides, but it was manageable, so he sorta just shrugged one shoulder, turning his face into Steve’s palm as he started stroking Danny’s cheek again.

“It’s almost time for your next dose of pain meds, baby…can you wait or should I call the nurse?”

Danny reached a hand up and placed it over Steve’s, still rubbing his cheek and snuggled down into the touch. 

He could wait, but he didn’t think he could open his mouth to say, so hopefully Steve would understand. 

“Okay, babe…I hear ya.”

Danny glanced to Steve, trying out a smile, but he wasn’t sure how successful it was, because Steve made a face Danny had yet to catalog.

Danny’s other hand wandered over the top of his blanket, coming to settle over the bandages around his belly.

“It went great, so don’t worry. You’ll be in your own room in an hour or so and on your way home in a few days.” Steve’s other hand moved to cover Danny’s on his stomach, “what did I tell ya, huh?”

Danny nodded, turning his palm and interlacing their fingers, holding this hand too, wanting to keep Steve close. 

If he could, he would pull Steve into bed with him, but as it was, he couldn’t really move all that much yet and just because the pain was manageable, didn’t mean it would stay that way if Danny tried to exert himself.

He must have drifted back to sleep, because he found himself opening his eyes again, seeing more people in his cubicle. 

They seemed to be unhooking him from machines, and bundling him up in his blanket and before long he was rolling away from the small room.

He looked for Steve, but didn’t see him.

He turned to look at the man at his side, who was turning the gurney and using his back to open a swinging door.

When the guy spotted Danny looking at him, he smiled and said, “you are on your way back to the ward. Once you’re settled, your family can visit.”

So, he would be seeing Steve soon enough.

He closed his eyes again and when he opened them next, he was back in the same room he had been in before the surgery.

Steve was sitting next to him, his hand resting on Danny’s arm as he watched the small TV on the far wall.

Danny stretched his fingers, shifted his arm and watched as Steve turned to him, a huge goofy grin on his face. “Hey, Danno…it’s about time you woke up.”

Danny glanced to the darkened window and then to the clock over the dry- erase board, noting that it was six seventeen.

Where had the day gone, wait…was it still even the same day?

Steve stood, leaning over him, kissing his lips, the tip of his nose, telling him, “Everything is fine…you’ve been in and out of it for hours now, but it’s morning and you’re okay.”

Danny watched as Steve pulled back, rubbing at his eyes, looking like he hadn’t slept in days, which had probably been mostly true. 

He found he had more saliva and carefully swallowed, happy that only little twinges of pain surfaced as he cleared his throat and said, “why don’t you go home and rest, babe…I’ll be okay on my own.”

Steve lowered himself back into his chair, a stubborn set to his jaw, but Danny just sighed, settling into the bedding and reaching out for Steve.

“So,” he sighed again, relaxing on each exhale, “what exactly does doing okay, mean…I am sure you have told me before, but it’s all a blur and I think I am actually awake enough now to hear it again.” 

Steve shifted forward, bringing Danny’s hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle and Danny couldn’t help the sappy, comforting feeling that settled into his chest.

He loved Steve so much…didn’t think he could love him any more until the man went and proved him wrong.

“It means, that it all went to plan. The scar tissue is gone, they removed the impaction through your stoma and only had to make five small incisions. 

Dr. Hoy said you can start a liquid diet today, soft foods tomorrow and hopefully solids the next. Once the plumbing is all working again, you can go home…hopefully by Monday.”

That was the best news Danny had heard in days…maybe there was something to being optimistic after all. 

“And it’s…”

“Thursday,” Steve finished for him, “and everyone will be by later to visit and your parents will call in a bit…can I get you anything…do you want some ice or water?”

Danny’s throat was still pretty dry but his mouth was nothing like it had been before, still, he nodded his head anyway, asking for, “ice?”

Steve only had to go to the tray table beside his bed, swinging it around and over Danny’s lap where he could reach the pitcher of water and tub of ice, he also saw the little cups of apple and pineapple juice, but the ice would do for now, so he picked up a piece and popped it into his mouth, letting it melt on his tongue a bit before crunching it up and retrieving another piece.

Steve went back to his chair and the news on the TV. A reporter was talking about a third body found, wrapped in plastic, but Danny didn’t interrupt, knowing that Steve would tell him eventually.

When the news switched to sports scores and clips of games Danny didn’t care about, Steve turned back to him and said, “the team are handling the new DB, but Kono will pick up Grace after school and bring her over for a visit before taking her to our place and staying until I get home.”

“Okay,” Danny said, but he could tell by Steve’s face that there was more he wanted to say, so he flicked Steve’s palm, asking, “and?”

“Well,” Steve looked down to his shoes and then over to the TV and then finally back to Danny. “Dr. Hoy said you should be good to go in a week or so and the Governor asked…”

“He wants to know if or when I will be back?” Danny asked.

“When, Danno…he wants to know when…”

Danny smiled, even though Steve didn’t look too happy at the moment, so there was probably more to the Governor’s inquiry then Steve had told him.

“Well, I was supposed to find out in November, after my appointment, but maybe Dr. Hoy can clear me for desk duty on my follow up in a few weeks…would we still get time off for Christmas?”

“Yes,” Steve said, “I already told him that we are both taking two weeks, so…”

“Okay…but you still didn’t answer my…”

“It’s nothing, really…I’m just glad, I mean…” Steve shifted in his chair, fiddled with the zipper on one of the many pockets on his cargos.

Danny used the remote to raise the head of his bed, glad that the folding of his stomach only caused slight discomfort. Once he was comfortable, he asked, “did you think…that maybe I wouldn’t want to…”

“No,” Steve cut him off, shaking his head, “I knew you would…I just…”

“Okay,” Danny said again, trying to understand what Steve wasn’t saying more than what he was.

“I just had to give him a timeframe…your short-term disability is going to be running out soon and when the long-term kicks in, it’ll only be sixty percent of your pay…not that that matters, I’ve got us covered…and since you may opt for the reversal, it’ll be better to come back to work and go back on short-term for your recovery…and…”

It wasn’t like Steve to ramble, but Danny stayed still and quiet, giving Steve time to get out what he needed to get out.

Finally, he looked at Danny, saying, “…and your temporary replacement might be even more temporary then we thought, which means Denning will be looking for someone new if you aren’t coming back soon.”

“Oh.”

_Oh!_

“So, she…”

“Apparently, she had a meeting with Denning the other day…said that she was thankful for the opportunity, but didn’t think it was a good fit…she wants to go back…”

“Oh,” Danny said again, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

Was Steve upset that Catherine would be leaving or…

“And you didn’t have a chance to talk to her…”

“I’m glad…I just feel…you know, a little guilty about the whole thing,” then his eyes shot up to Danny’s and he stammered, “Not about us…I didn’t mean that…I meant…”

“Hey,” Danny spoke up, not wanting Steve to shut down on him, “I know that, okay…I know you didn’t mean about us, babe.”

Steve sank back into the chair, nodding his head. “Her last day was going to be Friday, but now…with the third body, she wants to help us wrap up these murders before she goes.”

“Okay,” Danny shifted again, coming to rest on his hip, “I’m glad she is staying to help out…Cath’s good at what she does.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, but Danny still wondered if there was more that Steve just didn’t want to tell him, but he didn’t press. Steve sucked in a quick breath and then leaned closer, saying, “she is good, sweetheart, but she is not you.”

Danny couldn’t help the smile or the warm and fuzzy feelings that swept through him.

They sat in silence for a while, occasionally watching the muted TV until a nurse came in to check his vitals.

She was new to them, so she introduced herself as Janie and went about looking over the machines recording his vitals, at his output bags, and the dressing covering his wounds, before going to the computer to type in her findings.

Once she was finished, she said, “I’ve ordered you a breakfast tray. It’ll be here soon. Dr. Hoy will be in to see you this morning too.”

“Thanks,” Danny said, shifting his gaze to Steve, who was still fidgeting in his seat.

Danny wanted to question him, wanted to grill him over whatever he was holding back, because he wasn’t some wilting flower. He could take whatever Steve had to say, but he thought better of it, because Steve, in his own, crazy, messed up way, was only doing what he thought was best, so he sighed and tried to let it go.

Soon enough, a woman dressed in pink scrubs stopped at his partially open door and brought in a covered tray, sitting it down on the table already positioned over his lap, pushing some of the little containers of juice over to make room.

She handed him a tri-folded piece of paper, telling him, “these are your lunch and dinner options, so go ahead and fill out what you want and I will be back by in a bit to pick up your tray and take your order.”

He shifted a bit, saying, “thanks,” as Steve stood and moved closer, lifting the cover from his plate and then picked up the folded menu and a pencil, reading over the day’s offerings.

His stomach rumbled, which he guessed was a good sign.

The plate contained a creamed cereal, maybe rice, maybe wheat, he wasn’t sure because it looked like it had been strained, with a few pats of butter and a cup of coffee with two little packets of sugar and two little containers with cream.

He was feeling hungry for the first time in a week, and yet he was hesitant to eat, the memory of being sick and in pain floating through his head.

“Just try the coffee, babe…start with that and see how it goes.”

Danny nodded, knowing he had to start somewhere, because the sooner he ate and could…well, go, the sooner he could get out of here.

He put both creams and sugars in his coffee, wishing he had just one more cream, but when he managed to take a small sip, his taste buds approved and his empty stomach rumbled loudly through the room.

Steve laughed and leaned back in his chair, watching Danny sip from his mug, saying, “so, apparently not only do you get lunch and dinner, but a few snacks too…what do you say, for a morning snack you can have either a cup of pureed fruit or jello…”

“Jello,” Danny said and rolled his eyes, because come on…that one was a no brainer.

He watched as Steve tick marked his choice and then Steve said, “do you want another coffee or you can have tea.”

“Tea would be nice.”

Steve marked off the tea and said, “for lunch, do you want pureed fruit, pureed veggies and or broth…it says you can have it all if you feel up to it.”

None of that sounded too appetizing, but he asked, “what kind of broth,” hoping that Dr. Hoy would let him have Mamie’s chicken broth, because at least that was tasty. 

“Chicken, beef of vegetable.”

“Chicken, I guess.”

Steve moved on through an afternoon snack, his dinner and a night time snack, but his choices were very limited, he could drink just about whatever he wanted, coffee, tea, milk, juice, even soda, but in the end, he decided on pureed fruit, yogurt, beef broth, milk, creamed soup and finally vanilla ice cream.

Hopefully tomorrow he could move on to soft foods like eggs and fish and well cooked vegetables, but first he would have to get through today.

No time like the present, he decided, wishing he had some more sugar to put in his cereal, but he didn’t, so he used his spoon to scoop out the soft butter from their foil packs and mixed it into the creamy cereal.

He could feel Steve’s eyes on him, so he glanced up, seeing the encouraging smile before dipping his spoon back into his breakfast, getting just a little of the runny mess on the tip and then brought it to his lips.

His tongue darted out to lick, the taste was bland, but not unpleasant and Danny thought, bland works for now, so he dipped his spoon back in and slowly ate his cereal, drinking his cooling coffee in between bites and watched the morning news with Steve.

He managed about half, leaving some of the coffee too, because it seemed more bitter as he reached the bottom of his cup.

When he was done, Steve put the lid back over the tray, grabbing and shaking up one of the juices, pineapple, and pouring into Danny’s foam cup, sticking in a straw that bent so that he would be better able to drink it if he decided to recline the bed a bit.

“Drink as much as you comfortably can, okay, baby? Janie said it’s important that you drink enough.”

“Very good advice, Steve.” Dr. Hoy breezed in, his steps silent as he came through the door. “How are you feeling, Danny?”

“Okay,” Danny pushed at the tray, watching as his doctor lifted the lid on his plate and nodded in approval.

He went to the computer and read over Danny’s electronic chart, his head still nodding, so Danny took that as a good sign. After a bit, the doctor closed out the program and went to the small sink along the far wall to wash his hands, drying them and then pulling some gloves from one of the containers near the sink.

“Let me have a look at you,” and before Danny could agree, his bed was being reclined to flat and Dr. Hoy pulled back his blankets to his hips, gently peeling the gauze off his incisions. 

He inspected each carefully, using a gloved hand to periodically press around Danny’s slightly distended belly before uncovering Danny’s stoma and then he had his stethoscope in his ears, listening to Danny’s bowel sounds. 

“I’m very pleased with your progress,” he told Danny, looping the scope back around his neck. “The surgery went as expected. We removed quite a bit of scar tissue, but once that was done, your bowel opened and we were able to push the impaction out and I scoped you too, to see where we were at. 

You’ve healed nicely from your original surgeries and the swelling from this one is minimal, but it will still take a week or so for the swelling to go down enough and for you to get back to your normal routine.

I’m going to have Janie come in and get you up and moving which will help return your bowel function faster and the stoma nurse will be by too, to fit you with a new appliance. Do you have any questions for me?” 

“Um,” he glanced at Steve, who still sat in the chair, even though his lover was leaning toward him, one hand lightly rubbing over Danny’s forearm. “If in a week or so everything is still going well, can I return to work?”

“If you want, I could release you to work. We can set up a follow up for say, two weeks, and if things are going well, you can return to work, but there will be some restriction, since your job can be…strenuous. Maybe half days to get you back into your routine and then just use caution, you can do almost everything with a stoma as you did before, but it might take some getting used to be being back in the field with the addition of your bag.”

“He’ll only be on light or desk duty, Dr. Hoy,” Steve piped up.

Danny wanted to protest, but he did know that things would be…different as he adjusted to working with his colostomy. He was already anxious when he just went out to go to the store or to dinner with Steve, worrying about accidents and smells and uncontrollable noises as he passed gas into his bag, so he kept his mouth shut and listened as Steve detailed what light duty meant.

The doctor shucked his gloves and tossed them in the trash as Janie came in followed by Kai, the ostomy nurse that had helped Danny on his first stay in the hospital.

Kai moved to the bed and the nurse spoke with Danny’s doctor, who was relaying his orders.

Danny heard him tell her to get him moving, but then Kai was standing beside him, smiling a toothy grin and saying, “Yo, brah…nice to see you again, just wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Me too, Kai.”

Steve scooted back in his chair, getting out of the way as Kai laid out his bundle of supplies on the bed by Danny’s legs. “You know the drill. I am going to fit you with an appliance and then come back later to check in on you.”

Danny watched as the man took out a plastic sheet with various sized circles cut outs. He used it to measure Danny’s stoma and then used it again once he had the correct size to cut an opening into a wafer, smearing some barrier cream over the healing skin around his ostomy and then peeling off the back, sticking it to Danny’s skin. 

He pulled out a smaller bag then Danny had used before, but he explained, “your output won’t be much for the next several days, so this one is light weight and easier on your skin.”

Kai peeled the backing off the see-through bag and attached it to the wafer, pressing around the edges to ensure a good fit and tight seal. “You’re all set, man…I’ll check in on you later.”

“Later,” Danny said, feeling a little weary when the nurse swooped in after Kai left, laying out what she needed on his bed for whatever it was she was about to do to him.

Steve leaned forward again, putting a hand on Danny’s arm to remind him that he was still here.

Janie washed her hands and then pulled on some gloves, bringing the basin from the bathroom over to his lap and then raised the head of his bed until he was sitting upright. “Dr. Hoy has approved removing your NG and Foley and we are going to unhook you from the heart monitor so we can get you up and out of bed.”

Danny nodded, knowing that he would feel better once he was up and moving, and mostly unattached, but he still was feeling a little apprehensive anyway.

She pulled a few simple band-aids from a nearby drawer, using her gloved fingers to peel off the backs and cover each of his tiny incisions.

Then she turned off the suction machine and fiddled with something off to his side, that he couldn’t quite see, placing a towel over his chest and told him, “this won’t hurt. You may feel like you need to cough or gag, but it will be over quickly.”

Danny’s eyes watered and his nose itched as she unpeeled the tape holding the tube in place, telling him, “take a deep breath and hold it.” And true to her word the tube was out quickly and he coughed into a tissue she had handed him, before bundling up all the tubing into the towel and taking it over to the trash to toss.

He blew his noses with another tissue she gave him and wiped at his face, his nose feeling tingly, but overall better, with the tube and tape gone.

He handed her the tissue, since her hand was out and waiting.

She tossed it and her gloves and washed her hands again, going to the bathroom once more to retrieve a measuring device that was used to empty his urine bag. She put on another set of gloves and bend down.

Danny could hear the urine running into the container and couldn’t help the flush of embarrassment that pinked his cheeks, although he didn’t know why he was embarrassed. Nurses did that sort of stuff all the time and Steve was Steve…they had peed in front of each other before.

She slipped back into the bathroom and Danny heard the toilet flush and then she returned, gloves already off to wash her hand again. 

Once she was ready, she told him, “This will be just as quick.”

He decided to look over at Steve instead of watching her, feeling his sheet and blanket pulled back to his thighs and his gown lifted. The tape holding the tubing to him was peeled away and then after some fiddling, the tube was pulled from him in a swift but steady motion.

Steve gave him a little encouraging smile, patting his arm and saying, “one more step, babe…one step closer.”

Danny found himself chuckling as his blankets were righted and his gown unsnapped at his shoulders. She carefully removed the electrodes, detaching the sticky disks, pulling some hair even though he had been shaved when they were placed.

“Sorry,” she empathized with each tug and pull. Once she had him unhooked from the monitor, even taking the little clip from his finger and releasing the blood pressure cuff from his bicep, she snapped his gown back together and said, “I’m going to get you some grip socks and another gown to use as a rode,” and then she stepped from the room, leaving him alone with Steve.

The bed was still raised, so Steve got up and lowered the rail, helping Danny pull his legs from the covers and turn so that his bare feet were dangling over the side of the bed. 

This was an important step that he had remembered from his last stay. 

It meant that he was on the mend and would be going home soon.

And just like the last time, Steve moved forward, stepping up to Danny and telling him, “wrap your arms around my neck, babe…stretch your back…are you feeling dizzy?”

He reached forward, pulling Steve in, raising his arms and locking his fingers behind Steve’s neck, resting his face on Steve’s broad and solid chest, but unlike last time, Danny hadn’t been bedridden for weeks before he could get up, so he mumbled, “no,” to Steve’s question and enjoyed Steve’s hand on his back, kneading sore muscles, tickling his sides under Danny’s open back gown, but he wasn’t facing the door, so he wasn’t giving any passersby a show. 

“How are your legs?” Steve asked as his hands dipped lower on Danny’s back, rubbing circles into the skin there and then moving around to knead his hips.

“Fine…nothings numb, but nothing hurts either.”

Steve kissed the top of his head, telling him, “I’m glad, Danno.”

Janie came back before Danny could kiss Steve, but he just tucked that plan away for later, for when they were alone again.

The nurse slipped a sock on to each foot and then got his arm through one sleeve of the gown, that she had put on him backwards to make a robe. She had to unhook his bag of fluids from the pole and threaded it through the opening before she carefully manipulated his hand and arm through and hung the bag back up.

Danny finally let go of Steve, not sorry to make Janie work around them.

She stepped in front of him, taking both of his forearms and told him, “slide forward a little, get your feet on the ground but don’t stand yet.”

He did what he was told, but no pain or dizziness over took him, so when she told him to, “stand slowly,” he did. Once on his feet, he legs felt a little stiff, a little heavy, but before he knew it, the IV pole was in one hand and Steve had his elbow on the other side.

“Ready?” Steve asked, waiting for Danny to take a step before using his free hand to also grab Danny’s hand on the same side, but he felt steady on his feet, so he pushed the pole and took some small steps toward the door to his room.

Once in the hall, Steve let go of him, but stayed close to his side, smiling like an idiot because Danny was able to shuffle down the hall to the window at the end. 

He took a few minutes to look out over the parking lot and to the small court yard below where he and Steve had decided to give this thing between them a go, all those months ago, and he sighed when he felt Steve’s arm wrap firmly around him, pulling him in to his chest, kissing him when he turned his head upward. 

Steve murmured against his lips, “best step I ever took, sweetheart.”

And Danny, feeling a little choked up and warm and safe in Steve’s arms said, “me too, babe…me too.”

H50H50H50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter in this time stamp and then on to the next few, which are holiday themed, but I got a little behind, so I hope no one minds.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was making tiny steps in the right direction and that was all that really mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who left kudos and commented! This is the last chapter of this time stamp but there is still plenty of story to tell.

H50H50H50

Steve followed behind Danny as they made their way into the kitchen from the lanai, both their hands full with plates and glasses to be washed and beer bottles to be recycled.

The impromptu party out in their backyard and beach was still in full swing, Kono and Chin were playing in the surf with Grace and Malia was lounging in a reclining chair, under a beach umbrella, floppy sun hat on her head for protection from the sun and extra shade for her growing belly.

Even the new SWAT Captain, Grover, had stopped in to say that he was glad that Danny was on the mend, after all, someone needed to rein him in and no one was better suited for that job than Danny.

The only person missing was Catherine, but Steve hadn’t really had a chance to talk to her since Danny had been hospitalized.

Still, it made Steve feel…delighted…to know that their ohana had come over to check in on them, with well wishes and offers to help with the everyday chores and Grace watching duties, which were gratefully excepted by both he and Danny.

The bathrooms had been cleaned, the furniture had been dusted and the floors had been vacuumed and mopped. 

Kono had gone by the store and stocked their fridge and pantry and Chin had mowed the lawn while Malia helped Grace with some school work she had to make up.

And then, somehow a morning of chores and homework checks had turned into a beach party. 

Danny had only been released from the hospital the weekend before…he had slept most of the time those first few days, but some evenings they had managed to watch a movie or played board games with Grace after dinner.

His lover had been having some issues with his colostomy…things had changed some since his operation, timing and consistency, but now, it seemed as if he were settling into his new routine.

Steve could tell that Danny was tiring with all the activity of the morning, even if he had only rested on the couch or sat next to Malia to watch Grace play on the beach, but Danny had insisted that their afternoon plans were still on. 

He only had Grace through the weekend before she would be going back to stay with Rachel for her week and weekend, but now, they had a few extra hands to help carve pumpkins and build scarecrows.

After Steve put the dirty dishes on the counter, Danny had dumped the empty bottles in the sink, flipping on the faucet and Steve just couldn’t resist coming up behind him and wrapping Danny in his arms, pressing his body in close, resting his chin on Danny’s shoulder, asking, “are you sure you want to go to the pumpkin farm today, sweetheart…you look like you could use a nap.”

Danny rinsed each bottle, before shutting the water off and turning in Steve’s embrace, reaching up to kiss him firmly on the lips, admitting, “I am tired, babe, but we promised Grace and it’s already so close to Halloween…the pumpkins are probably already slim pickings and I still haven’t even taken her to pick out a costume yet…”

It looked like Danny was gearing up for a full rant and one sure fire way to stop him was a distraction, so Steve yanked him a little closer, covering his still moving mouth with another kiss, only this time it involved teeth and tongue and he wouldn’t have stopped if he hadn’t heard a little girlie voice say, “oh, gross…”

Danny startled, but stayed in Steve’s arms as they turned toward the back door to see Grace and Kono, both wrapped in colorful beach towels, both smirking, although Kono had raised her hand to cover Grace’s eyes and guided her through the kitchen and down the hall so that they could get changed for their outing, saying, “Yeah, guys…ewwwww.”

Danny chuckled, but leaned back into his chest, gripping the back of his shirt, resting his cheek on Steve’s shoulder. 

Chin and Malia came through the door a minute or so later, carrying pizza boxes and other snacks that were left out on the picnic table. Chin stowed the left-over pizza in the fridge as Malia found a few chip clips and stuck the bags up in a cabinet.

“I’m going to change, be right back,” Chin told them, grabbing and kissing his wife before strolling down the hall to wait for his turn in the bathroom. 

Malia wandered toward the living room as Danny’s phone rang, so Steve let him go, watching as he dug in his pocket to pull his cell out, frowning at the display. “It’s Rachel,” he said, swiping his finger across the bottom to connect the call. “Rach…what’s up?”

Steve didn’t like the look on Danny’s face, he saw disappointment and maybe even a little resentment, but Danny nodded his head and said, “yeah…okay…I can have her ready by the time you get here.”

Danny tossed his phone on the table, sighing, explaining, “she has to go meet Stan at one of his new projects, something about forgotten paperwork…”

“Okay,” Steve said, “but what’s that got to do with Grace?”

Danny pulled out a kitchen chair, sinking down, resting his head on a balled-up fist, saying, “She needs to leave Charlie with the sitter, because she doesn’t know how long she is going to be and Charlie refuses to be left alone with the nanny…he pitches a fit if Grace is not with him.”

Steve nodded, thinking things through. 

He hated when Rachel pulled this shit…

_How is it Danny’s problem that Charlie didn’t like the sitter and why did Danny have to give up his day…his plans with his daughter because of it?_

_Seemed like a Stan and Rachel problem to him._

_They had shared custody now, so Danny really didn’t need to agree, but it seemed like that was Danny’s default mode, not wanting to rock the boat._

After a while, Steve said, “I have a crazy idea.”

Danny’s head snapped up, his eyes ghosted over Steve’s face, probably trying to gage the level of craziness Steve was proposing, so Steve tried to keep the small smile off his face, because really, his plan was perfect.

“And what, pray tell, is this crazy plan of yours,” Danny asked, turning to smile at his daughter as she came bursting back into the kitchen, chattering excitedly with Kono about the kind of pumpkin she was hoping to find.

“Call her back…tell her we aren’t,” he looked toward Grace as she went to the counter to grab an orange and lowered his voice a little more, saying, “changing our plans, but that we will be happy to help out by bringing Charlie with us.”

_Win, win, right?_

“What?” Danny asked, clearly confused by Steve’s suggestion, but despite his best efforts, little ears had heard Steve’s low pitched voice and Grace turned, flinging herself in Steve’s direction.

She hugged his legs tight, looking up at him in excitement, asking, “does that mean we can take Charlie to the pumpkin patch too, Uncle Steve? He was too little to go last year and Mommy said she didn’t think they could find the time to take him this year…I know he is still a baby, but every kid should get to go pick out a pumpkin, right Daddy?”

Her pleading eyes turned Danny’s way and he could tell that his proposal was a foregone conclusion, because Danny couldn’t resist Grace, no matter what the request, but he did put up a token protest, saying, “I don’t know, Monkey…mommy might not want us to take him...”

“She won’t mind, Danno…call her and see.”

“Yeah, Danno,” Steve chimed in, “tell her either Charlie can go with us or to the nanny’s…alone.

Danny rolled his eyes, but grabbed up his phone, dialing. 

When his ex-wife picked up, he said, “I’m taking Grace to the pumpkin farm today, Rachel…we had plans, but if you want, we can take Charlie too.”

Steve watched as Danny listened, trying to judge by his raised brow and slight scowl if Rachel were giving him a hard time, a bit surprised when Danny assured, “no…I’m fine and plus Kono, Chin and Malia are all coming too. There’ll be lots of people to help take care of them…yes, okay…see you soon.”

Danny dropped his phone back to the table, saying, “she’ll be here in a few minutes…”

“Yes!” Grace flung her arms around Danny’s neck, kissing his check. “we are going to have so much fun, Danno,” and then she was off to the living room, presumably to let her uncle and aunts know that her little brother would be joining in on their family fun day.

“Just like that,” Steve asked, proud that Danny had stuck to his guns instead of caving and putting the needs of his ex-wife before his own.

“Yup…she wanted to make sure I was up to it, but she seemed…” Danny fidgeted in his chair, but went on, “surprisingly agreeable.”

“That’s great, baby.” 

“Yeah…”

“How about you go get ready, make sure you have everything you need for both you and Gracie and I’ll pack the cooler and get it in the truck.”

Danny bobbed his head, standing and making his way to the living room and up the steps as Steve went out the back door to grab the cooler.

At some point, Chin had joined him and together they dumped the melting ice and brought in the remaining drinks, sticking the beers in the fridge, but leaving the soda cans and water bottles and Steve pulled some coconut water and pineapple juice from the fridge for Grace and Charlie.

“I’m on sandwich duty…” Chin told him, getting out the lunch meat and cheese from the fridge and the bread from the box on the counter. He even found the little baggie with prepackaged mustard and mayo and tossed them into the cooler too. “What do you think Charlie would like…PB and J?”

Steve had no idea, but he still liked an occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so it was a good bet. “Just make two of those and a few extra turkey and ham in case he wants one of those instead.”

Steve pulled a tub of macaroni salad that Kono had bought that morning from the fridge and stuck it down beside the drinks in the ice chest, leaving the top space free for the sandwiches and then he got his mom’s old picnic basket down from the top shelf of one of the cabinets and tossed in paper plates, plastic utensils, and napkin, a bag of chips and a box of vanilla wafers that were ear marked for banana pudding that Danny had promised to make, but he figured it was a snack safe for a toddler and he could always pick up another box later.

When they were done, Chin got the cooler and basket and took them out to his SUV while Steve went to check on Danny.

He found his lover sitting on their bed, looking a little drained, but he was humming a little tune, so that was a good sign.

“Hey, baby,” he said, because he didn’t want to frighten him, “you doing okay?”

Danny shifted, swiftly standing, walking toward Steve, saying, “yeah, babe…I’m good.” He carried a little duffle bag that no doubt had some sun block, an extra set of clothes for Grace and Danny’s ostomy supplies. 

He also picked up an old pair of jeans and a blue checked flannel shirt that Steve had never seen before, stuffing them into the bag before handing it to Steve, asking, “is everyone ready?”

“Yup, just waiting for Rachel and Charlie.”

As if on cue, they both heard Grace’s excited voice and Rachel’s smooth British accent. 

Steve followed Danny down the stairs, passing the bag off to Kono, who took it out the front door.

He guessed that Chin and Malia were out there too, because they were nowhere in sight and Rachel said, sitting the little boy in her arms down to the floor, “Chin is trying to get Charlie’s car seat into the truck and they have already put his diaper bag with your other supplies...Everything you need is in the bag, but call me if you have any questions, and thank you both, for being willing to take him for the day.”

“It’s not a problem, Rachel, really,” Danny assured, walking with her out of the house, with her little boy in tow, his little sneakers tripping him up, but Rachel had one hand and Grace had his other.

Steve did one last look around the living room to be sure that they had gotten everything and then armed the alarm, locking and pulling the door shut behind him.

He wandered over to the truck to see both Chin and Kono working on securing the car seat, folding their bodies nearly in half, ducking and weaving, trying to thread the seat belt through the slots on the car seat and then Chin stuffed his hand down into the bench back, securing another belt, while Kono teased him about all the good practice he was getting in before her new niece arrived.

Steve couldn’t help the little smirk when Chin emerged, a little out of breath and a little red in the face.

“That was harder than I thought,” he told Malia, ushering her around the back of Steve’s truck as she giggled, and to his SUV, helping her slide into the passenger seat. “Ready to roll, Kono?”

Kono patted Steve’s arm, telling him, “we have the stroller in the cargo hold…who knew kids had to travel with so much stuff?”

“Um, I did,” Danny called, taking Grace’s hand as she climbed up onto the running board and then onto the back seat. He buckled her in and then turned to take Charlie, but Steve scooped him up first, holding him so that Rachel could give him a kiss goodbye.

Danny wasn’t supposed to be lifting anything heavy and Charlie might be a toddler, but the kid was still a chunk. 

“Good bye, sweet little boy,” Rachel cooed, “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

Steve went around to the car seat, but it was facing the rear of the truck and it took him a few seconds to work out how to get Charlie into the seat and he was having zero luck on the buckles, but Danny saved him, elbowing him out of the way to thread the little pudgy arms under the shoulder restraints, locking them together at Charlie’s chest and then pulling up clips that secured around the baby’s hips and between his legs…seeing it completed made sense and Steve was confident he would be able to get Charlie secured into his seat the next time.

They both got into the truck.

Rachel honked and waved as their little caravan pulled out of the drive and down the street.

Before long they had arrived at Aloun farms and Grace had already unbuckled her seat belt before Steve could get her door opened. 

He helped her down as Danny slowly slid from the passenger seat, taking Grace’s hand to walk her around to her Danno and then he opened the back door to get Charlie.

He had the toddler unhooked and in his arms quickly, but Danny was frowning at the stroller that Chin had pulled from the hold of the SUV.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart,” he asked, shifting the baby to his other hip.

Danny looked at him and then back to the stroller, saying, “I just don’t think that’s going to work…the ground is too uneven and bumpy…it’ll be hard to navigate the pumpkin patch…”

“It’s okay,” Steve told him, “I’ve got him.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Clearly you have never carried a baby around…they may look all lightweight and easy to carry, but believe me…in under ten minutes your back will be screaming at you for being an idiot, not to mention how squirmy they can be…”

“Okay, then what do you suggest?”

Danny told Grace, “why don’t you go help Uncle Chin set up the picnic area…Auntie Malia is going to stay with the cooler in case someone wants to swipe your PB and J.”

“Danno,” Grace sighed, “Auntie Malia has a baby growing in her belly that makes her tired and she needs to rest…”

“Oh…good point, Monkey…so do you think you can go help set up things so she is comfy before we head off to pick out some pumpkins?”

Grace smiled and ran off toward her ohana, who were busy unloading all the supplies that they had brought, staking out and claiming an umbrella covered table in the picnic area.

When he turned back to Steve, he grabbed the stroller and said, “just buckle him in and let me see if maybe Rachel packed the wrap or a carrier.”

Steve gently put the little guy into the stroller and buckled the belt while Danny looked through the bag Rachel had sent with them.

Danny had pulled out a long piece of teal cloth, moving intently toward him.

“What the hell is that,” he asked, shaking out his arms…Danny was right, Charlie was heavy and his arms were already pins and needles, which was a bit surprising. Steve had to train carrying more weight than that…maybe he was getting soft.

“This,” Danny said, stepping in closer and wrapping this arms around him, sliding the stretchy material from one hand to the other behind Steve’s back, “is a moby wrap…sorta like a carrier, but it cradles a baby better and puts less strain on your back.”

“Oh,” because what else could he say. He watched as Danny expertly turned and twisted the material this way and that, looping it around his body, concentrating on his task, his tongue peeking out of the side of his mouth as he worked, which just made Steve itch to kiss him.

Within minutes, he had finished, tying off the two ends loosely at Steve’s back, telling him, “Okay, now pick up Charlie and face him toward you.”

Steve bent and picked up the baby, his bright eyes looking around, but not fussing as Danny guided his little legs down and into the wrap, arranging them to rest at Steve’s sides and then he went behind Steve and tugged on the ends, asking, “does that feel comfortable to you, babe?”

Danny had pulled them a little tighter, lifting Charlie’s little body up so that he was more resting against Steve’s chest, taking the strain off his back. 

When he nodded, he could feel that Danny was securing off the ends again. 

Letting his hands drop to his sides, not needing to support the toddler now that he was snug in the wrap, he couldn’t help but to bend forward just a bit and smell the little guy, the clean scent of the dark hair that dusted his little head and to look at those baby blues and then down, at a very familiar nose.

He looked to Danny and then back to Charlie and then back to Danny again.

“What?” Danny asked, raising an eye brow in question, but Steve didn’t know what to say.

Maybe he was seeing something that wasn’t really there.

When he had briefly seen Charlie in the past, he had thought that he had resembled Grace, which made perfect sense, since Grace favored her mom, but now… 

“Nothing,” he finally said, watching as Danny folded up the stroller, shoved it into the back seat of the truck and grabbed the diaper bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

They both walked toward the picnic area, spotting Grace as she held Kono’s hand, searching the crowds of people. “There they are,” she said, pointing toward them.

Danny got there first, squatting down to talk to his daughter, “hey monkey, are you ready to go pick out some pumpkins?”

“Yes,” she bounced a little on her toes, excitement oozing from every pour, ready to go. 

Kono gave Steve a once over, saying, “that’s a nice look on you, boss.”

“Huh…” he looked up to see that they were all smiling at him, but his mind was on his partner and the little boy he was carrying.

“She said,” Chin said, “That’s a nice look on you, brah…and the color matches your eyes…”

“Chin Ho Kelly,” Malia scolded, “I’m glad you like that look, because baby wearing is very good for infants and young children and I plan on getting a wrap for your child…maybe you can swap with Steve in a bit so you can get a feel for it.”

Chin wisely nodded his head, leaning in to give his wife a peck on the lips, telling her, “I can’t wait…now, you stay put and enjoy the sun and your book…I’ll bring you back some cider in a little while.”

“You better,” she shooed him away, then calling after him, “and maybe a donut…”

Steve moved toward Danny, who had slowly straightened, wincing as he rested his hands on his hips. 

“Still doing, okay?” Steve asked, contemplating asking his lover to stay and rest with Malia, but he already knew what Danny would have to say to that, glad that he had adult reinforcement who could help wrangle Grace.

“Yeah…You?”

He was a little surprised by the question, but Danny was looking at him in a way that suggested that maybe he was letting his thoughts show on his face, so he smiled and leaned in, kissed Danny slowly and then told him, “never better…come on, let’s go get some pumpkins…someone promised me pie.” 

H50H50H50

Danny watched Steve as he grabbed the duffle bag and pulled out the clothes for their scarecrow. 

Something was up, but Danny had no idea what had happened in the span of time it took to get Charlie situated and them over to the picnic area.

Grace was pulling impatiently at his arm, so he moved toward the little ticket booth and pulled out his wallet, buying a pass to make a scarecrow first, so that they didn’t have to carry around the clothes all day.

Steve could run it back to the picnic area or truck when Grace was done.

He felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder as he waited for his change. 

When he got his money back in his wallet, he turned and lead the way over to the stuffing area. Chin and Kono joined them as Grace sat near a crumbling pile of hay and laid out the shirt. 

Kono bent to help her stuff it as Steve and Danny both sat on a bale.

He wanted to get down on the ground and help too, but he knew that that would be a bad idea all around, so he watched as Grace and Kono stuffed hay in the flannel shirt and also down each other’s.

Chin hung back, probably not wanting to get hay down his own shirt, but he did go over to a huge ball of twine and measured out enough to seal the shirt sleeves, leaving just enough hay hanging from the ends.

Steve leaned into his side, eyes on Charlie and Danny couldn’t help the small smile.

Steve was a bit awkward when it came to most kids, but he never had to worry about his little girl when it came to his lover.

The clumsiness melted away when it came to Grace and watching Steve now, with a little boy that could have been his, sorta melted his heart.

Steve would make a good father, hell he already was one when it came to Grace, which sorta surprised Danny a little…not that he was good with Grace, but that now that they were together, he would be a father figure to his baby.

Gracie had her Danno and Step Stan and now an Uncle Steve…hell, she had already had Uncle Steve, so maybe he shouldn’t be surprised.

If this thing lasted, and god, he hoped that it never ended, Steve would become an influence in Grace’s life, which lead Danny to think about maybe Steve wanting children of his own…

“What are you thinking so hard about, sweetheart?”

Danny startled a little, looking toward Grace as they moved on to stuffing the jeans, but when he met Steve’s eyes, seeing the tenderness and love there, he couldn’t bring up what he had been thinking, because if this thing did last between them, and Steve did want children of his own, where did that leave them…leave him?

So, he cleared his throat and said, “nothing much,” and hoped that Steve wouldn’t question him further.

For a second or two it looked like he might, but eventually Steve just shrugged and turned to watch his family.

Kono had taken up the huge needle threaded with twine. She was sewing the jeans a few inched from the bottom of the shirt, knitting the two halves together and Chin and Grace were decorating the burlap sack that would become the scarecrows head.

Before long it was stuffed too and Kono attached it to the collar of the flannel shirt, holding the whole thing up, asking, “What do you think, Grace…does he need some glitter?”

“Yeah,” she readily agreed and they all laughed.

“Well,” Chin squatted down to talk to her, “That might have to wait until you get home…I don’t think they have glitter here.”

“Okay,” Grace said, turning toward him. “Danno, can we go to the petting zoo now?”

Danny said, “sure monkey,” and used Steve’s shoulder to get up from the hay bale. 

“I’ll take this guy back to the picnic table and get some cider on the way for Auntie Malia,” Chin told her, picking up the scarecrow and tossing it over his shoulder. “I’ll come find you guys in a little bit, okay?”

“Okay,” Grace agreed, grabbing at Danny’s hand and pulling him toward the petting zoo.

They all spent the next hour or so following his baby around as she went from one goat to another, petting their head and brushing their coats, holding out some grain for them to eat from a bucket Steve had bought for her.

After washing her hands, she feed some ducks that wandered through the enclosed area and stopped to pet a turtle, then they found a pen with a few little pigs.

One of the workers was explaining that they had just gotten the pigmy pigs and that they wouldn’t be getting much bigger than they were now and how they were suitable for pets.

Grace quickly turned to him, but he shook his head, not even letting her get out the question.

Despite what Steve had thought, he could say no to his daughter and especially about this. “Sorry, monkey.”

She looked down and then back up at him through her eye lashes, saying, “aww.”

But Steve spoke up before Danny could, telling her, “it wouldn’t be fair to get a pet and not have the time for him. Me and Danno work a lot, Gracie, so we wouldn’t be home enough to have a pet, but hey…you can always ask your mommy.” 

Grace perked up with the prospect of asking her mom, but finally she said, “you’re right, Uncle Steve…even with mom home, she’d be too busy with Charlie and pets need lots of attention.”

Kono called Grace from a few stalls down, saying, “come look at these baby lambs, Grace.”

His daughter hurried off toward her.

Danny looked up at Steve and said, “that was a close one, huh?”

Steve nodded, leaned down as best he could with a baby strapped to his chest and said, “I thought I better intervene before we ended up with a little pig running around the house.”

Danny snorted, shaking his head, telling Steve, “I was not going to give in…”

“Sure, Danno, sure,” and then Steve walked off, leaving him stand there. 

By the time he got to the stall with the sheep and baby lambs, Grace had been asking about the hay ride.

Danny didn’t think he could sit comfortably in the back of a bouncing wagon and Steve had Charlie, but luckily Kono piped in, “I’ll take you Grace and when we get back we can go look for pumpkins.”

Danny nodded, saying, “let’s go get your tickets to ride and me and Uncle Steve will check out the store…do you want a cider donut?”

She enthusiastically nodded her head, asking, “Can you get some for home too, Danno…and some sweet apple cider?”

“You bet, monkey.”

They walked over to the ticket booth, but Kono told him, “I got it…just grab me a donut or two.”

He laughed, supposing it was fitting that a bunch of cops were looking forward to the donuts most of all, but man, they were good.

He left his daughter in Kono’s capable hands, letting Steve guide him by the elbow to the store.

They milled around a little, looking at some of the perfect pumpkins on sale, but Danny preferred to pick his own…ones with bumps and lumps and lots of character.

Steve ordered two dozen cider donuts while Danny went to the cooler and pulled out two gallon jugs of fresh, hand pressed, apple cider.

They met at the register, Steve paying for the whole order, including a rental wagon fee for the red rider wagon he was dragging behind him. 

“For the pumpkins,” he told Danny, sitting the cider and box of donuts in it and pulling it along to the picnic area.

They found Chin and Malia at the table, eating some sandwiches and Danny looked at the time on his phone, a bit surprised that they had been at the farm for hours now.

Steve’s stomach rumbled, so Danny helped him out of the wrap and they put Charlie on a blanket on the ground.

The little guy played with some of his toys while Danny rooted through his bag and pulled out a diaper and wipes, found his cup with juice.

He started to lean down to sit on the ground, but all three of the others called out to him or put a hand on his to stop him.

“Guys,” he said. “I can sit on the ground for a few minutes, I’m okay.” 

“Yeah, but Danno,” Steve started, looking like he didn’t know how to finish his thought.

Malia opened her mouth, probably to offer to change Charlie, but Chin got up and got to his knees, pulling the little guy’s legs to face him, saying, “I need the practice, anyway.”

Then Steve knelt too, pulling Charlie his way and told them, “I can handle this,” but the look on his face said that that had all depended on what he found in Charlie’s diaper.

Chin raised his hands in defeat, but stayed where he was, maybe lending some moral support.

Danny rolled his eyes, but sat backwards on the picnic table bench and watched as Steve took the diaper and opened it up, setting it in reach and then he took out a wipe and closed the container.

He eyed Danny, who just gave an encouraging nod as Steve pulled the little shorts off and stopped to stare at the onesie.

“Just unsnap them, Steve,” Chin told him and up to that point, Charlie had been busy playing with a little car from his diaper bag, but he must have decided he was done with laying still and quickly rolled over to his belly, pushing up to his knees.

Steve shot him a look of pure panic, and Danny couldn’t help but to laugh.

“It’s okay, babe…just turn him back over and get a move on, before he starts to cry.”

Steve made a strange face, one Danny hadn’t seen before, but he flipped Charlie back over and with the help of Chin, gave him back his juice cup, unsnapped the onesie and had the tabs of the diaper pulled.

Steve carefully lifted the little legs, looking very relieved that he had only peed in his diaper and then used the wipe to clean up his tiny butt.

He had the clean diaper situated under Charlie, but the kid tried to make another escape attempt.

Steve grabbed and rolled him over and Chin helped fasten the tabs, both trying to snap the onesie, but clearly Charlie’s patience had worn thin and he let out a huge wail, fat crocodile tears rolling down his chubby cheeks.

Steve looked dejected, but Danny laughed again, saying, “he’s fine…just pull on his shorts and let him go.”

Chin lifted him and Steve pulled on the tiny shorts and sat him up on the blanket, giving him his car and juice and already the tears had dried up as Charlie sucked on his sippy cup.

Danny had found the box of vanilla wafers and opened them, giving one to Steve to give to the little boy, who took it and began to chew on it, happily rambling to himself and smacking his car against the ground.

Malia had gotten out two plates during the diaper changing ordeal and had put some macaroni salad and chips on both, asking, “turkey or ham, Danny?”

He was about to say he wasn’t hungry, which was mostly true. 

He had managed to eat some boiled eggs at lunch time while everyone else had pizza, but he could tell by the way they were all looking at him expectantly, that he should just pick one and see how it went.

“Turkey is fine…thanks.”

Steve stayed on the ground, taking the plate with ham and cheese on wheat, pulling apart the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sitting the pieces along with another cookie in front of Charlie.

Danny picked at his own sandwich, pulling off all the crust and then taking a small bite. 

He found that he could better manage the macaroni salad and even had gotten a second helping, had left his sandwich mostly uneaten, but no one called him on it.

Soon, Grace had come racing up, Kono not far behind and they got their own plates and ate their dinner, although Danny knew that they would probably all be hungry again later tonight.

Once they were all done, Grace asked, “can we go get some pumpkins now?”

“Sure, but let’s clean up first.” Danny said, standing and gathering the used plates and napkins to toss. 

Chin got the cooler repacked and between he and Malia the food items were all put away and Chin carried everything to his SUV, including the cider and donuts.

When Chin returned, Danny was done cleaning up the trash and Steve had said to Grace, “get in,” indicating the wagon.

She jumped in and then wrapped her arms around her brother when Steve sat the little boy in front of her. “Hang on to him, okay Gracie?”

“I will, Uncle Steve.”

And then Steve was off, pulling the kids toward the path that led to the pumpkin patch, the rest of them trailing along behind.

On the way in, along the path to the fields, pumpkins were painted with faces and dress from popular fairy tales and little hand painted signs told the story of each grouping.

Grace looked like she was having the time of her life as Steve stopped and read each one aloud, providing both male and female voices and Danny’s heart had that weird melting feeling again.

Soon they were back in the open and Danny was pleased to see that the fields still had plenty of pumpkins.

Steve had selected an aisle and helped Grace out, picking up Charlie and sitting him down by a few pumpkins. 

Before Danny could get his phone out, every other adult with him had theirs at the ready, snapping away at the cute little boy, and his baby girl, as she carefully considered which pumpkin she should pick.

Danny had found a small and smooth pumpkin with a soft stem and handed it to Charlie. The little guy held it in his hands, looking at Danny, saying, “ball…ball…”

Danny snapped another picture, telling him, “close enough, kid.”

When he had looked up again, Grace had been dragging a huge pumpkin across the field, but Steve had spotted her around the same time and jogged over to her and picked up her pumpkin, asking, “is this the one, Gracie?”

“Yup…it’s big enough to carve and should have lots of good gooey stuff inside so Danno can make pie.”

“Had me at pie, kiddo.”

Danny chuckled as Steve hefted the huge pumpkin into the red wagon, pushing it toward the front so that there would still be room for Grace and Charlie.

He snagged Grace up too and put her in, but his daughter asked him, “What about your pumpkin, Uncle Steve?”

Steve shrugged and said, “why do I need one, sweetheart?”

And Danny couldn’t help the fond smile, hearing Steve call his baby sweetheart, was just as special as Steve calling him by the same endearment.

“We all need pumpkins, Uncle Steve…we are going to carve them tonight.”

No one seemed to want to argue with his monkey, so they all quickly grabbed up a small pumpkin each and put them in the wagon with Grace.

Because there was no space for Charlie, Steve picked him up and Chin pulled the wagon toward the exit and the waiting scales.

They got their haul paid for and in the hold of Chin’s SUV in short order and Danny helped Grace into her seat as Steve got Charlie buckled in.

They got home just as the sun was setting, and Danny went up to deal with his colostomy bag, as Malia sat with Charlie, letting him play on the floor of the living room and the others carried in the stuff from both vehicles.

He sat on the toilet backwards, burping the bag before opening the clip and letting the contents go.

Looking down, he could see that the consistency was still not what he was used too, but Dr. Hoy had warned him that things like that could change for good, or he might get back to where he was before his blockage.

Next week he had his follow up appointment and he would hopefully be back to work shortly after that, even though he would be riding a desk.

He reclipped his bag and stood, pulling up his underwear and shorts, going to the sink to wash his hands, spotting the pharmacy bag with his prescription from his Urologist, that Steve had picked up, along with his other post-surgery prescriptions.

It held a promise of sorts, because once Danny was cleared for work, he would be cleared for other, more pleasurable pursuits and he was looking forward to sex with Steve again, but really looking forward to it all... 

…he and Steve taking Grace trick or treating…Thanksgiving and parades and football with his ohana…a big Christmas gathering with his folks, all the holiday traditions he wanted to share with Steve and his family back in Jersey.

His future…their future.

Laughter drifted up from down stairs as he finished up and Grace called to him, “hurry up, Danno...we’re ready to carve our pumpkins.”

He would need to decide what he was going to do in the new year about his ostomy.

But he didn’t have to decide now and he could live with that.

He was making tiny steps in the right direction and that was all that really mattered.

H50H50H50


End file.
